May 31, 2010

2:00 am, I will embrace it

I'm done being upset by the 2am wake up calls.  Calls straight from God to get up and talk with him.  It's quiet in the house and I can truly focus on his word and what it says for me.  I don't fall asleep while reading, I embrace it.  There is no reason I should wake up after taking my cocktail of pills, but he is faithful in waking me up each and every night.  I could be mad about this, who doesn't love a full night's sleep?  But, I'm choosing to embrace these moments with him, he has taught me so much, I have highlighted so many verses in my bible and I'm looking forward more and more to studying Isaiah next year in BSF.

Yesterday I posted a verse on facebook but wanted to post it here too... I've had so many comments of "Your so strong" or "So positive", well, I have two choices, bitter and weak or strong and positive.  Proverbs 17:22 says A cheerful disposition is good for your heart, gloom and doom leave you bone tired. and Job 8:21 says God will let you laugh again, you'll raise the roof with shouts of joy it's good for me to be cheerful and it's God's desire that I be.  He is my guide to the end and I want to follow Him.  Not that I'm pefrect by any means, I sometimes get down and start feeling bad for myself, I feel very weak most of the time (but apparently don't let that come across) and am always stunned by comments of how "strong" I apparently am, but I have a choice and  I'm trying to choose a cheerful disposition. 

The prayer from today was also a great one that I wanted to share, great not only for a cancer patient (although from a book for cancer patients), but great for anyone experiencing trials: (From "Praying Through Cancer")
There is nothing ahead of me that can detour your will for my life.  You will fulfill your purpose for me.  How I praise you for your unfailing love.  You are my God forever and ever and you will be my guide even to the end.  I trust you implicitly.  May this furnace of testing show my true faith in you, and may I come forth as gold.
(References: Psalm 46:1, 138:8, 48:9, 48:14 and Job 23:10)

Is there a trial that you need to give to God as well and choose to be cheerful about?   Let's pray for each other, that we can continue to find joy in our circumstances and let God be our guide through the difficult times.

Chemo round two starts tomorrow, let's pray that this one goes as well as the first and that these drugs that they are putting in my body do thier job and kill any remaining cancer cells left in my body.  Prayers also that I would get movement back in my left arm with less pain would be very appreciated as well, I'm using a combination of meds to relieve the pain right now, but I hate taking meds for this stuff and would love to not have to take so many pills every day and night!


Joanne said...

I can tell you lots of stories about how improtant and precious those middle of the night TAWG have been. Afterward I seem to sleep for whatever amount of time but wake REFRESHED and that makes me realize it's HIS doing.

I love your blog. It is a wonderful devotional for me. Thank you for sharing what the Holy Spirit is providing for you so abundantly!

Prayers that round two goes even better than round one.

Anonymous said...

We'll be helping to pray you through your treatment Tuesday. Hope we get to see you at the ballgame, but if it's not meant to be, we'll just update you by phone! Laurie :)