I desire so much to return to normal. To be able to get up of a chair or couch or bed without any pain, to be able to put my hair in a ponytail without thinking it's a huge accomplishment. To be able to carry my plate to the counter after dinner, or carry on a conversation w/o struggling to stay awake. Little things that we don't normally think about. Little things that we've just taken for granted. I want to be free of the limitations that surgery has placed on my body and mind and be able to depend on myself again instead of everyone else to do everything for me. But that is obviously not God's plan for me in this. He is wanting to mold me into a dependant person, a person that is dependant on Him above anyone or anything else. I pray that he either heal me physically or at least help me to peacefully accept my circumstances, he knows what is best for me, I just need to accept that.
Father, please help me to turn my weakness to strength in you, help me to depend on you always, to trust in you in all circumstances. Help me to accept my current physical and emotional circumstances, rescue me from my unrealistic expectations. Help me to bring you glory in all circumstances. Be with my children, bring them peace and release them from any fears they may have. Help them to feel free to discuss any concerns they may have. Give all of those that are so supportive the energy to keep being supportive and the energy to keep praying for us. Thank you God for all you have provided for us in these circumstances, your love and provision is amazing.