Can I be completely honest?

Seriously, life is not all rainbows and sunshine. You have to have rain to have a rainbow. I'm living in the rain right now. Life has been in a bit of a slump.

Lila is difficult. She is still up at LEAST 3 times at night. That's minimum. I am up with her every time, b/c if I ask Matt to do it it just makes the situation worse. Not that he's not willing, he's just not able.

I am a girl that likes my sleep. A LOT. I'm not a morning person (I REALLY like to stay in my bed as long as possible) and I'm not a night person either (I go to bed around 9 or 10), I like to sleep, that's what kind of person I am. So, since I haven't slept a full night in over 7 months (not to mention pregnancy when I didn't sleep either) I'm a little worn down. OK, a lot worn down.

I thought I was dealing with the whole thing quite well, but I just hit a wall. I want to cry, scream and stomp my feet more often than I want to smile and laugh. I don't always do it, but sometimes I do. I want to take naps, but Lila doesn't. Or she will when the older two get home, which means I can't.

When she is awake, she just want's me to either be RIGHT BY HER or holding her. Doesn't leave me much time to do important things, like shower, clean, wash dishes, laundry, cook dinner, you know, the things that get us by and make us presentable. I'm at a point where I probably just need to let her scream it out, but that just seems cruel.
To all of us.
I guess leaving her out front with a for sale sign would be cruel to though. Somedays I feel like it. Don't worry though, I wouldn't do it.
She might get cold.

OK, enough venting. Funny thing is, I have these posts quite often, but rarely do I hit "Publish Post". Today though, I'm going to, I can't be the only one in the blogiverse feeling this way. We all have our days. Right?

(I get to go watch an Arthur movie that I've watched a million and one times right now. Aren't I lucky? Yup, I am lucky, b/c I get to watch it with my favorite 3 year old and my favorite Lila, who are both healthy, happy children, who both have beds to sleep in and food to eat, I AM lucky)

One of THOSE days... ****UPDATED WITH PICS AT BOTTOM****

I wanted to say that yesterday was a terrible day... but I can't. Some good did happen too, it just seemed every time I turned around there was bad! I will try to focus on the good, but surely some of the bad will seep in!

Got up early (before 9) and got ready to go get a christmas tree. We get a coupon every year for a free tree along with a hayride, hot chocolate, donuts, and a chance to feed animals. We also have to opportunity to buy a wreath for $15 and extra trees if we want. So the plan was to get a tree and a wreath and do some of the stuff... all for $15. Well, this is THE most expensive Christmas Tree EVER! I brought $40 cash along with me "just in case" we needed it. After doing everything we wanted to do i went to pay for the wreath and lo and behold, the money was gone! Not sure where it fell out of my pocket, but it did. So we got a tree and some fun activities for $40, but no wreath. I'm sick about loosing the money, but what can I do??????

After that adventure we went to Kids Day at Baker book house whre the kids were able to play some games and win some prizes. When we got home we also got a call that Landon had won one of the door prizes... a stack of 8 books! (Yeah!!!!, he was very excited.) While he was on the phone with the employee who called him another employee was calling too (he doesn't know what call waiting is so she went to voicemail) to say that bailey also won, but we didn't get that message til today, so we will get her prize tomorow.

I went and made some tiles in the afternoon at Amandas house with some other girls, then came home and matt was just leaving to take landon to a birthday party so I had a few minutes alone before he returned with two kiddo's. We got the house cleaned up and got the tree inside and then headed to pick up Landon and decided to go up to Grandville for some dinner! I also needed to get Christmas sweaters for the boys (which I was successful in and they almost match! I'm not a matchy person, but it's cute!).

After dinner and shopping we headed here to see some synchronized Christmas lights. I was under the impression that it was a whole street decorated and sync'd, but it ended up to be just one house. it was fun to watch for a little while though!

AFter all that fun we headed home in the snowstorm (which wasn't that bad unless you were the little car on the road, which we ended up following home). We managed to make it home, get the kids to bed and Matt & I watched a movie, I had to call it a night early though, I was exhausted.

Today we got the tree decorated adn we have small group tonight. Off to make some dip to bring along for that! I'll be back later tonight or tomoorwo with some pics of all the adventures!

Moving...

I want to move so bad, but really have not much motivation to get the house ready to sell, until today! We looked at a house this afternoon, nothing super special, and I'm not exactly sure I even like the house all that much, but I definately LOVE the pool! So anyway, that got me motivated! Right after looking I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get some storage things so that I could de-clutter my house! I bought some of these...I was able to get a duvet, a duvet cover, 2 pillows and a set of sheets in one jumbo bag and in the other I got 7 winter coats and some other misc winter items! They are vacume sealed so I dont have to worry about smells or anything like that! Right now I'm taking a break from going through the kitchen and taking out anything we don't use regularly, if we don't use it regularly we don't need to have it right now! It's amazing how simply we can live if we try! While at Bed Bath and Beyond I also bought one of these! Mine is a little more shabby chic looking though! I love it! Right now I have the juicy orange going, I also bought Buttercream, Vanilla Lime, Cucumber Cantaloupe, Country Linen and Greenhouse, I want to burn them all just so I can get a smell! The kids aren't going to be all that happy with me when I de-clutter thier room! They have way to much stuff, and poor Bailey got all of her toys taken away about a month ago b/c she never picks anything up (I know I was the same way when I was younger, and now I know why I frustrated my mother so much), unfortunately that backfired and she didn't really care, she still has craft stuff and games to play, but anyway, they are going to be mad b/c I intend to take a lot more away, spring is upon us, they will be outside most of the time anyway, who needs indoor toys, right? (Help me out here...I'm feeling kinda guilty!) They also both have an obsession with blankets, each of them probably has 4 different blankets besides the comforter on thier beds, so they are going to have to pick one to keep out, the rest are getting packed! Ahhhhhhhhhh, I suppose I should go clean a bit more, it's almost time to go get the kids! Wishing everyone a wonderful Thursday tomorow (ABC is going to be All NEW, I'm so excited, it's about time, that means Betty, Grays and October Road, woohoo!)

Off to clean...

So we decided...

So, we went to the meeting for the gifted and talented class for Landon tonight. Earlier today I had been talking to a friend about how Landon doesn't know what it's like to work for his grades, he doesn't have a clue how to study or ask for help when he doesn't understand something. Then at the meeting they addressed this word for word and how being in this class may take kids from the top of the class to the bottom, they may struggle a bit, but they will learn how to ask for help, they will learn how to study, they will learn to make smart academic decisions on thier own! They said that some kids do struggle in the class at first, but eventually adjust. I just felt as if God was telling me that this is what we need to do. Neither one of us wants to tell Landon though (it may be a while until we actually do, I know him and he will stress about it so bad), but we know that no matter what his reaction, he doesn't know what is best for him at his young age and we do, we know that this is the right decision for him right now!

It is so amazing when you God speaking to you. I have really been trying lately to discern what His will and desire is for my life, with so many random things happening, specifically cancelling my plans for last week. I just need to wait and trust that He has a purpose, I may never get the answers but he has them and I know in my heart that he knows what is best (although difficult, because I, like most people, like to be in control, but need to turn that over to Him). OK, did I ramble enough about that? Are you still with me?

I missed the discussion part of BSF tonigh (Bible Study), but made it for the lecture portion and I'm glad I did. I struggle so much with lack of self control (hence the belly that won't go away and my supply of digiscrapping stuff) and one of the principles that she gave us was... Christians prepare to meet Christ by living a self controlled life, so I feel very convicted now to work on that this week. Another point she made was that we are not shocked by evil anymore because we are so used to seeing it and hearing about it, but we are suprised when someone shows God's love, how true is that and how sad? And one more priciple to share... The opportunities God gives today may be gone tomorow, what am I putting off that should be done today? There may not be time for repentance tomorow, right now is the time, for myself and to tell others about God's love!

I went to help in Bailey's class at school this afternoon, I love helping out, and since Landon is so much older I realize that they just don't need the help anymore when they get older, I need to take advantage of knowing her friends and teacher so well at this age. We did a book on animals with the kids, with examples of thier body coverings, i remember doing the same exact book with Landon when he was in kindergarten! After that was Ballet, then I had to bring my car to the shop where Matt picked me up, took us home, then off to the meeting, then bible study and here I am, so really very little time to even think this evening, it's great to relax a little!

I did a quick layout this morning for Digi-Dare...Journaling is a little depressing, but it's just me right now, it reads:
So, the dare is to find something you like about yourself... not an easy task. I’m not a super positive person lately, so really there was nothing, but if I HAD to pick, it would either be my eyes or my hair, but only the color of my hair, I really don’t like how thick it is, or how it just lays limp, but that’s my own fault for not taking the time to do my hair every day, but who has the time? I hate my unruly, grow to fast eyebrows, with a chicken pox scar on the side so there is no eyebrow there, I hate my dry cracked chapped lips, and if we head a little further south I hate my stomach, three kids later it is just plain old fat (love the kids, hate the gut), the legs aren’t terrible, except for that awful sore on the right ankle that will never go away, so I guess I’m stuck with my eyes, there not that bad, the color is ok, I guess


Have a great Monday night/Tuesday (depending on when you are catching this)!