God's war, not mine

I try to remember that title at every turn.  I can't do this, but he will provide for me in many many ways that will make it possible for me to do it,, no one or no thing can take my life before God's time just like he protected David in 1 Samual 23:14-15 and 26-28 click here to link to the passage NIV style and here to link to it The Message style (prefer but there are extra verses included here so may be best to read both)

Yesterday was a very anxious day.  Very heavy heart, heavy with anxiety about the PET scan results and what the heck this chemo was going to do to me for the next two weeks.  But then we got the reults of the PET scan (YAY) and it didn't get much better (yes we celebrated as much as one can in a small room with a bed and chair, but the anxiety didn't go away).  It was the chemo that was to come, accessing the port for the first time (which I understood nothing about except I put lot's of numbing lotion on top of it prior to leaving my house), it was just a long long day of unknowns.  So many have been so helpful in preparing me for this day, allowing me to ask questions and giving me lot's of answers and tips and prayers, for that I am thankful. 

As I was waiting in line to check in I heard lot's of talk to my left about hair.  How it was growing back in.  When did my life become about hair loss and re-growth?  It felt very surreal. 

The port access went great as soon as they switched types of tape they used, which is strange b/c I've never had any issues with medical tape, but apprently yesterday my body decided to fight more painful tape being pulled off my body (because I am quite sick of peeling tape off, it hurts almost worse than surgery, probably because I'm sedated, but you know...).

All the injections and drips went great, we were there for 4.5 hours, hopefully that's a bit longer than normal, but that will just give me another unknown in two weeks when I return. 

I was very very very tired in the afternoon, but of course got no sleep (truly, it's so not like me to request this, but if you want to call, I would LOVE to talk to you, but the afternoon may not be the best time to call, phone will probably be shut off between 1-3 from now on).  I started feeling nauseous at around 4:30 but took a pill and it subsided enough that I could eat another delicious dinner delivered by a friend.  Around 9 it started again and I just took the other antineausea/anxiety pill and was out for most of the night.  I woke up once, but not for long, I think I just chnaged the channel from "The Nanny" to "Cheers" (oh the joys of late night t.v.)

So, today is a new day.  A busy new day.  I have to get Elliot to school, then return to go on a field trip with him (walk to get ice cream), then a NuLasta injection at the office (w/ possible hydration), and then choir concert for my oldest, greatest, 11 year old tonight.  So, please please please say lot's of prayers for a feeling great, high energy day today!

This is God's war, not yours.  2 Chronicles 20:15 (The message verson)