Hindsight is 20/20

So looking back the signs were all there...and I even blogged about some of them...
"I slept for almost 2 hours, dreams and everything and here I am still tired!" From Fathers Day


Ha...and this one...
"Today I finally decided to get a bathing suit from Land's End, something that would hide my not so prego, but looks prego belly"


This one cracks me up...
"While at the picnic I had brought sunscreen and was putting it on anyone that asked, but in the chaos I forgot to put it on one important person...me! Keep in mind that I never used to burn, I could be white as winter, go to Florida, spend a day on the beach and get nicely brown... sometime during my pregnancy with number three the hormones changed and it only took about 5 minutes outside (sunny or cloudy, maybe even rainy) and I was lobster red, well I was hoping that would go away when Elliot was born, but no such luck!" From Thursday May 24


Oh, and this one...
"...the surgury was cancelled because my insurance wouldn't cover it. So, less than 12 hours before I had to be at the hospital, I found out that I didn' thave to go. Now, I had prayed about whether or not to have this surgury for quite a while, we are sure we are done having kids, but this would make it SO final!...God has a purpose and I may find out what it is... I HOPE that he will make his will clear to me, show me what the purpose of all of this is, but that isn't in my control!" From May 22

Definately never wanted this... way to close for me! Not sure how I will handle it, only with lots of prayers I'm sure! We were totally done, we were complete! This wasn't supposed to happen! I've been feeling nauseous, need to always have something in my stomach (which means lots of weight gain), brushing my teeth makes me gag (but no fear, I will continue despite the feeling), smells are definately stronger, I have been scatterbrained, and oh, so, tired!

So, if you haven't figured it out yet, I am prego AGAIN! Right now I'm not all that excited, but I'm sure once I've adjusted to the idea I will be ok. We just figure we've created two generations within our family (Landon and Bailey generation 1, and Elliot and baby, generation 2). I seriously am so worried about how I will cope, sometimes I can't even handle my one baby, much less two babies! So, yeah, lot's of tears and fears and prayers the last few days here at our home! Please keep us in your prayers!

I have a sign hanging on my wall that says "God doesn't give us what we can handle; God helps us handle what we are given." Oh how I pray that he helps me! HELP HELP HELP!

This little t-shirt is how we told our family...
(Oh, yeah, due date... Feb 14, so I'm only 6 1/2 weeks along, early to tell - YES, but I've never been good at keeping secrets!, although I can say I was more nervous to share this time!)

So... I"ve been preparing this post for about three days now, I will be uploading it tonight... and I've gotten a bit better, still not what I had planned, I'm scared out of my mind about how I will handle two kids under 16 months, will Elliot get enough attention, lots of different things, but I know I would be devestated if I lost this baby too. This morning I woke up feeling really great! Not nauseous, not tired (helps that it was 8:30), just great! But, that worried me... was everything ok? Prayed about it and guess what, God answered that prayer... I then was nauseous, and tired! And I had to get groceries (never been good at that while pregnant), but just the reasurrance was good, I would be sooooo incredibly sad if something happened!