Community Reformed (our church) is starting a MOPS program this fall. We will be meeting on the first and third Friday of the month. They have started a wonderful blog full of great information, we would love to have you join us. The open house is Friday, September 17 from 9:30-11:00 a.m. There will be refreshments, a chance to meet the steering team, & a kids craft. You will receive a welcome packet when you register. We've got some great speakers and craft projects lined up!
We are also doing a fundraiser on September 11. A garage sale at the church. You can reserve a table to sell your own things at for just $10 (think of how much you would have to spend on advertising for your own garage sale, this is a great deal), you keep your profits, or you could donate items for us to sell and we keep the profits. Either way, it's a great way to get rid of some junk!
On another subject comepletely... I'm growing hair. My shower this morning took longer than usual because I had to shave. Definitely didn't miss that ordeal. My hair on my head is growing longer every day (and every morning I get up and check it out and then make Matt look at it too, he's kind of sick of it). Yay for hair!!!!
I have five treatments left! FIVE! I'll be thrilled to be done with all that, although I'm far from done. I will then have radiation (the thought of that scheduling nightmare stresses me out more than I care to admit) and then Herceptin treatments once every three weeks until next July(ish). Today my appointment is much later in teh afternoon than normal, I'm hoping to still get out on time, I've got a photoshoot tonight as well! Busy busy busy!
August 31, 2010
August 24, 2010
Meals
I've had a few people ask why I don't have any meals scheduled anymore. For a while I felt guilty letting others cook for me, I was feeling pretty good, had decent energy and there really wasn't a great reason not to do it ourselves. But, as I get more and more worn out and with Matt being gone 3-4 nights per week it's getting harder and harder to get time (and energy) to cook something. So, I've added a few dates to the ekklesion site (see link on the right side of blog), please read the info at the top of the page (on the ekklesion website) as I've revised it just a bit. Any help is appreciated, if you can't bring a meal, but want to help, gift cards are great options too, we have been so blessed by so many of you doing wonderful things to help us out in this way (both meals and g.c.'s), you can't possibly know how helpful this was and continues to be for us! Thank you!
For the Broken
In Isaiah 6:10, Isaiah said that those who do not seek to know and understand God have hardened their hearts against Him and cannot turn to Him for healing. Only when our hearts are broken can God shower us with righteousness (Hosea 10:12). (Fill in the blank here, make it personal) broke my heart wide open. It shattered It into a million pieces. It was my brokenness that allowed the Word of God to slowly begin penetrating the depths of my hearts (Prov. 4:20-22). And, it was through that brokenness that God could begin the most significant restoration project in my life.
Have you given God the pieces of your broken heart? Sometimes we hold on to our brokenness because we’re not finished grieving, were not finished being angry, or we simply don’t trust Him to make us whole again. But, God wants to fill the empty void you feel in the pit of your soul. He wants to send you a skilled craftsman, one who knows every piece of your shattered heart. One who knows your every pain, one who has shared in your suffering, and one who can put the pieces back together and make you well and whole and more beautiful than before. (Isaiah 61:1). He wants to give you Jesus.
Just some thoughts and inspiration from a book I was given by a dear friend. The book is called "Grace for each hour" by Mary J Nelson.
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Have you given God the pieces of your broken heart? Sometimes we hold on to our brokenness because we’re not finished grieving, were not finished being angry, or we simply don’t trust Him to make us whole again. But, God wants to fill the empty void you feel in the pit of your soul. He wants to send you a skilled craftsman, one who knows every piece of your shattered heart. One who knows your every pain, one who has shared in your suffering, and one who can put the pieces back together and make you well and whole and more beautiful than before. (Isaiah 61:1). He wants to give you Jesus.
Just some thoughts and inspiration from a book I was given by a dear friend. The book is called "Grace for each hour" by Mary J Nelson.
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August 18, 2010
Pictures
I promised some of these pictures a while ago... but it took way longer to finish than I thought it would!
Not the greatest pictures, but I took these with my old camera so that I wouldn't have to resize them for uploading. I now wish that I had painted the larger frames with chalkboard paint, but I won't tell you how many coats matt put on them to get them perfect and I didn't dare ask for a change! :) All in all I'm happy with how it turned out!
FYI, these are all hung with Command Adhesives, best invention EVER! No holes in the wall and when I want to take them down I can and no one will ever know there was anything there!
I started Bailey's backpack, just that one ruffle on the bottom, but I was super excited with the change that just that one ruffle made! So much more personal! Can't wait to get more on there. Slowly but surely!
And... look what I got working today! I was doing all the sewing by hand and wow that was taking forever, now I can go much faster!
FYI, these are all hung with Command Adhesives, best invention EVER! No holes in the wall and when I want to take them down I can and no one will ever know there was anything there!
August 16, 2010
Links galore
Seriously trying to do this for Bailey this year... so super duper cute!
Some SUPER cute roses...
How cute is this t-shirt. Reminds me of something I would get at Ann Taylor Loft!
Wouldn't Miss Lila look absolutely ADORABLE in this?
OK, that's good for now, but I've got lot's more. Now if only I knew how to fix my sewing machine, but then I guess I would have to figure out how to work the silly thing! I don't really have the patience for sewing, but I sure wish I did!
Some SUPER cute roses...
How cute is this t-shirt. Reminds me of something I would get at Ann Taylor Loft!
Wouldn't Miss Lila look absolutely ADORABLE in this?
OK, that's good for now, but I've got lot's more. Now if only I knew how to fix my sewing machine, but then I guess I would have to figure out how to work the silly thing! I don't really have the patience for sewing, but I sure wish I did!
Losing my mind and painfully tired
WOW, what a difference a few days makes. I am seriously losing my mind. I can remember just about nothing. I start doing something and can't remember what it is I'm doing (while doing it). Two minutes ago I couldn't think of the website name where you can upload videos. You know, the popular one. The one everyone uses... yeah, that one. I hope that it is just a result of being painfully tired. Yes, I said PAINFULLY tired. Worn out. Fatigued. I've been sleeping ok, so I'm guessing its just from the chemo, but it really stinks! Seven more weeks! Seven more weeks! I CAN do it! I'm still not "sick" and I can still do everything I need to do so I'm still considering myself very lucky, just had to complain for a minute!
August 14, 2010
Note to self...
Cleaning out the closet takes a lot more effort and a lot more time these days. I decided to get our closet clean this morning. We do not have closet doors, so this really is a necessary evil. Don't get me started on why we don't have closet doors, we just don't right now. Never have actually. Ten+ years of marriage and no closet doors. In the big scheme of things, closet doors don't matter though!
Matt was responsible for his half (actually more like 3/4) of the closet, so I didn't have that much to do. I've been really good the last 6 months or so of getting rid of clothes I don't wear, so there really isn't that much left as far as clothes go. But I do have a bag and blanket obsession that needed to be sorted through. That and all the little projects that have found thier way to the shelf, and the tub of shoes that lie on the floor. Anyway, it was a lot of work. By the end I was laying on the floor nearly sleeping with a back ache like I haven't had before. It occured to me that chemo really is taking a toll on my body. Even if I don't feel it every day. It's all accumulating, making life just a little bit harder. But, as always, it could be worse! It could be much worse.
Last weekend I had the honor of second shooting a beautiful wedding with my friend Becky (of Bee Tree Studios). The details of this wedding were incredible. Such a laid back, yet stunning event!
Landon had a fabulous time on his Possum Trip. They went to Chicago, St Louis, Minneapolis and Madison. You can read more about their trip here.
Whoa, I just checked out the Susan G Komen "Team Bell" site... 102 member strong! WOW! You are all AMAZING! If you haven't signed up and would like to or know someone that would go here!
If you wanted to order a long sleeve "Fight Like a Girl" t-shirt or sweatshirt the deadline is fast approching... information can be found here!
Matt was responsible for his half (actually more like 3/4) of the closet, so I didn't have that much to do. I've been really good the last 6 months or so of getting rid of clothes I don't wear, so there really isn't that much left as far as clothes go. But I do have a bag and blanket obsession that needed to be sorted through. That and all the little projects that have found thier way to the shelf, and the tub of shoes that lie on the floor. Anyway, it was a lot of work. By the end I was laying on the floor nearly sleeping with a back ache like I haven't had before. It occured to me that chemo really is taking a toll on my body. Even if I don't feel it every day. It's all accumulating, making life just a little bit harder. But, as always, it could be worse! It could be much worse.
Last weekend I had the honor of second shooting a beautiful wedding with my friend Becky (of Bee Tree Studios). The details of this wedding were incredible. Such a laid back, yet stunning event!
Landon had a fabulous time on his Possum Trip. They went to Chicago, St Louis, Minneapolis and Madison. You can read more about their trip here.
On Wednesday I was able to go with some friends and our daughters to Chicago for the day. All of the girls bought new dolls at American Girl. When we got to the store, I was completely stubborn about Bailey not getting a new doll, but in the end it was all her money and she could do whatever she wanted, so, a doll it was. A curly hair doll. While we were there we saw a doll getting her hair done at the salon, this doll and wicked hair. Someone had had way to much fun with her. I'm glad that Bailey got to see it so she knows that it can happen and that her mom really isn't that mean when I tell her not to do her hair to much!
We also hit up Cheesecake factory where our waiter was quite a charecter. By the end (or actually middle) of the meal we were scared to say "thank you", our waiter ALWAYS responded with "No, Thank You. That's my job, that's what I do" or "I'm here to take care of you beautiful". The one time he said "your welcome" we all just looked at each other, not sure what was happening!
And, just because he is awfully darn cute... Elliot!
Speaking of cute, miss Lila is doing way more walking these days than she is crawling! I would say we officially have a fourth "walker" in our house! :)
Whoa, I just checked out the Susan G Komen "Team Bell" site... 102 member strong! WOW! You are all AMAZING! If you haven't signed up and would like to or know someone that would go here!
If you wanted to order a long sleeve "Fight Like a Girl" t-shirt or sweatshirt the deadline is fast approching... information can be found here!
August 9, 2010
Life in general...
I thought I would stop in and do a more thorough update, but I warn you right from the beginning, it's not that exciting.
Lila is walking more and more each day, I've found that putting her in a dress helps that situation. Have you ever tried to crawl while wearing a dress? It appears that it would be quite frustrating and so walking is a better option! I still wouldn't call her a "walker", but it won't be long. She is a feisty little girl, unafraid to let us know what she wants or more importantly, does not want (typically by screaching quite loudly). Ahhh, life with girls!
Elliot is loving summer! I was having him try some shirts on for fall the other day and he was putting up such a fight. He doesn't like "regular" clothes. He ONLY likes basketball shorts and basketball shirts (preferably sleeveless). We've finally made progress in this area though, the only thing I ask of him is on Sunday's for church I get to pick out his clothes AND he get's to change right after church. We discussed how I get to pic out his school clothes, as well, this fall, we have not yet discussed that this may include jeans or pants and long sleeves at some point, I'm sure that will once again be an adjustment that includes some tears or yelling.
Bailey has been working on keeping her room clean in hopes of getting a few toys back, it's not perfect, but I'm trying to remember that she is 9, it isn't supposed to be perfect. She is getting some much needed one on one time this week. She is already soaking it all up. I'm pretty sure she won't be sleeping in her own bed all week either, she is so scared to be downstairs alone (see the following paragraph for the reason she is alone downstairs). Matt doesn't get it at all, I on the otherhand, remember being afriad of the basement, and even my own bedroom, all to well. Every little nonise was magnified to an unbearable point, every little noise must have been the monster lurking just beyond the door...
Landon left yesterday morning on a possum trip with a group from church. If your unfamiliar with possum trips, it's basically where they travel at night (on a bus with beds) and wake up in a mysterious location each morning, the kids don't know where they are going until they get there, this particular trip (although I'm sure it depends on the group) is full of service projects along with other fun trips and activities! Once the kids boarded the bus we received an itinerary for the trip. He is going to have such a great time! Yesterday they went to Willow Creek for church, they fed homeless in Chicago, went to Chinatown and visited Navy Pier. This morning they should be waking up in St Louis and have another fun day planend there!
We had a great weekend, I made it through all the busyness better than I anticipated (thanks for the prayers). Nothing really exciting to share. The heat this week is going to be interesting. I'm quite sick of the humidity. Heat is ok alone but good grief, it get's nearly impossible to go outside when the air is this thick. That said, I'm not ready for winter yet either... I guess you could say I will never be happy!
There's a pretty general update for you, sorry, life just isn't that exciting.
Lila is walking more and more each day, I've found that putting her in a dress helps that situation. Have you ever tried to crawl while wearing a dress? It appears that it would be quite frustrating and so walking is a better option! I still wouldn't call her a "walker", but it won't be long. She is a feisty little girl, unafraid to let us know what she wants or more importantly, does not want (typically by screaching quite loudly). Ahhh, life with girls!
Elliot is loving summer! I was having him try some shirts on for fall the other day and he was putting up such a fight. He doesn't like "regular" clothes. He ONLY likes basketball shorts and basketball shirts (preferably sleeveless). We've finally made progress in this area though, the only thing I ask of him is on Sunday's for church I get to pick out his clothes AND he get's to change right after church. We discussed how I get to pic out his school clothes, as well, this fall, we have not yet discussed that this may include jeans or pants and long sleeves at some point, I'm sure that will once again be an adjustment that includes some tears or yelling.
Bailey has been working on keeping her room clean in hopes of getting a few toys back, it's not perfect, but I'm trying to remember that she is 9, it isn't supposed to be perfect. She is getting some much needed one on one time this week. She is already soaking it all up. I'm pretty sure she won't be sleeping in her own bed all week either, she is so scared to be downstairs alone (see the following paragraph for the reason she is alone downstairs). Matt doesn't get it at all, I on the otherhand, remember being afriad of the basement, and even my own bedroom, all to well. Every little nonise was magnified to an unbearable point, every little noise must have been the monster lurking just beyond the door...
Landon left yesterday morning on a possum trip with a group from church. If your unfamiliar with possum trips, it's basically where they travel at night (on a bus with beds) and wake up in a mysterious location each morning, the kids don't know where they are going until they get there, this particular trip (although I'm sure it depends on the group) is full of service projects along with other fun trips and activities! Once the kids boarded the bus we received an itinerary for the trip. He is going to have such a great time! Yesterday they went to Willow Creek for church, they fed homeless in Chicago, went to Chinatown and visited Navy Pier. This morning they should be waking up in St Louis and have another fun day planend there!
We had a great weekend, I made it through all the busyness better than I anticipated (thanks for the prayers). Nothing really exciting to share. The heat this week is going to be interesting. I'm quite sick of the humidity. Heat is ok alone but good grief, it get's nearly impossible to go outside when the air is this thick. That said, I'm not ready for winter yet either... I guess you could say I will never be happy!
There's a pretty general update for you, sorry, life just isn't that exciting.
August 7, 2010
2:33 am
Yes, it's the middle of the night, yes, I'm once again awake. My memory is not serving me as well as it used to and I've been meaning to blog about this for a week or so now. So, since I'm awake here you go:
Many of you have asked when I will have another PET or CT scan to make sure the chemo is working. I had never been told anything about it but finally remembered to ask. I will not be having another one. Because the first one was clean there is no reason to have another one. If ever I start to have problems of one sort or another then they will be quick to do one, but in the meantime they say the additional radiation combined with the stress that comes with the fact that they always find something on those scans (making you wait 3 months until they can do another one to see if anything has changed), it just isn't beneficial to do.
So, there's that. I still think that my mind would be put at easet to just check things out, but for now I'm trusting my doctor to make the right decicions. She knows how I feel about this and I fully trust that she has my best interest in mind.
OK, trying to get some sleep now... we'll see!
Many of you have asked when I will have another PET or CT scan to make sure the chemo is working. I had never been told anything about it but finally remembered to ask. I will not be having another one. Because the first one was clean there is no reason to have another one. If ever I start to have problems of one sort or another then they will be quick to do one, but in the meantime they say the additional radiation combined with the stress that comes with the fact that they always find something on those scans (making you wait 3 months until they can do another one to see if anything has changed), it just isn't beneficial to do.
So, there's that. I still think that my mind would be put at easet to just check things out, but for now I'm trusting my doctor to make the right decicions. She knows how I feel about this and I fully trust that she has my best interest in mind.
OK, trying to get some sleep now... we'll see!
August 6, 2010
Prayer Requests
Just a quick update, I promise to update more later (like in a few days)...
1. I'm very tired. It seems to be getting worse each week. I know this is petty and I am very thankful that I'm not sick (aka throwing up), but I'm definitely more and more worn out each day. Part of it is my own fault, I tend to over schedule, but I like to be busy and naps have been harder and harder to get (b/c I can't fall asleep, not because I don't have the freedom to do it). So, prayer request number one is ENERGY.
2. I started physical therapy again today. Long story short... the first time improved my movement, this time will actually loosen the cord that was caused by the removal of lymph nodes. The PT massaged it quite a bit and I am not scared to admit that I was near tears once or twice. And now it really is hurting me. I get to go back three times a week for at least 2 weeks, possibly a month. So, prayer request number two is pain management and time management. This definitely makes me feel more rushed. In addition to the pain from pt today, I got rear ended on my way to work. Luckily I had Matt's truck so the only thing she hit was the big ol' hitch (no damage for me), she had a little damage from the hitch going into her front end, but she did hit me quite hard and I got a jold, now my back is in pain as well.
On a side note regarding the time management, I'm so sad to say that I recently had to quit my job. I just am struggling to much to find babysitters and the time to actually be there. I'm sad that I'm missing things at home when I'm gone, and it's hard for me to exert the energy working when I know that I need the energy for my family. That said though, they are currently accepting applications, it's a great place to work if you want to work approx. 10ish hour/week (stop in soon to find out more information and to get an application).
I am done (for now) with my expansions. I may decide to do one more before the initial surgery, but I have until late September to decide on that! This is wonderful for me, as it's one less appointment (although, if I was going to do weekly appts, this office, Dr. Dodde and Dr. Hoberman, is definitely where I would want to do it, they have an incredibly friendly staff!), one appointment down and now I add 3 more/week!
1. I'm very tired. It seems to be getting worse each week. I know this is petty and I am very thankful that I'm not sick (aka throwing up), but I'm definitely more and more worn out each day. Part of it is my own fault, I tend to over schedule, but I like to be busy and naps have been harder and harder to get (b/c I can't fall asleep, not because I don't have the freedom to do it). So, prayer request number one is ENERGY.
2. I started physical therapy again today. Long story short... the first time improved my movement, this time will actually loosen the cord that was caused by the removal of lymph nodes. The PT massaged it quite a bit and I am not scared to admit that I was near tears once or twice. And now it really is hurting me. I get to go back three times a week for at least 2 weeks, possibly a month. So, prayer request number two is pain management and time management. This definitely makes me feel more rushed. In addition to the pain from pt today, I got rear ended on my way to work. Luckily I had Matt's truck so the only thing she hit was the big ol' hitch (no damage for me), she had a little damage from the hitch going into her front end, but she did hit me quite hard and I got a jold, now my back is in pain as well.
On a side note regarding the time management, I'm so sad to say that I recently had to quit my job. I just am struggling to much to find babysitters and the time to actually be there. I'm sad that I'm missing things at home when I'm gone, and it's hard for me to exert the energy working when I know that I need the energy for my family. That said though, they are currently accepting applications, it's a great place to work if you want to work approx. 10ish hour/week (stop in soon to find out more information and to get an application).
I am done (for now) with my expansions. I may decide to do one more before the initial surgery, but I have until late September to decide on that! This is wonderful for me, as it's one less appointment (although, if I was going to do weekly appts, this office, Dr. Dodde and Dr. Hoberman, is definitely where I would want to do it, they have an incredibly friendly staff!), one appointment down and now I add 3 more/week!
July 31, 2010
Consumed
It is 3:44 am. I'm awake and have been for quite some time now. I shouldn't be awake, I've been sleeping great. But I am. I'm sitting here listening to crickets and the whirring of 2 fans. My mind is consumed with someone else's pain. Someone I know only through a few emails. I don't know what to think or say, all I can do is pray. And pray I have. I don't think in the last 24 hours an hour has gone by that I'm not saying some sort of prayer for her, and I know that I am not alone in this, I know that God is hearing constant prayers, begging him to make it all go away.
This all has me thinking of my cancer and my own mortality more. I had a clear PET scan, it didn't show more cancer. But, that doesn't mean I will never have cancer again. Cancer is an ugly word and an even uglier disease. I hate cancer. Because I've been feeling so good, both Matt and I tend not to think about cancer anymore, but reality is, it could come back at any time, it will always be a factor in my life. A big factor. Did I mention I hate cancer?
As I often do when I wake up in the middle of the night, I turned to my devoational book. A few quotes from Praying Through Cancer.
This all has me thinking of my cancer and my own mortality more. I had a clear PET scan, it didn't show more cancer. But, that doesn't mean I will never have cancer again. Cancer is an ugly word and an even uglier disease. I hate cancer. Because I've been feeling so good, both Matt and I tend not to think about cancer anymore, but reality is, it could come back at any time, it will always be a factor in my life. A big factor. Did I mention I hate cancer?
As I often do when I wake up in the middle of the night, I turned to my devoational book. A few quotes from Praying Through Cancer.
- Don't forget in the dark what you've learned in the light.
- It is not that any of us would choose to have cancer. But, as Christians, we're in a win-win situation. Some wise wordsmith put it this way: "The worst that can happen is the best that can happen."
July 30, 2010
Not much to say...
or maybe I just don't have time to say anything!
We've been busy over here. I tried typing out something lengthy, but in the end it was a jumbled mess of words so I'll give you a quick overview instead!
Me:
I'm feeling great. Too good really. I can't find much to complain about. Taxol is going great, no really terrible side effects. The biggest one I'm noticing is just being tired. I'm trying to get to bed on time, but "on time" seems to be getting later and later.
I do get to go through physical therapy again, the cord that was causing me trouble is still there, and as of just this morning seems to be causing quite a bit of pain. All tolerable, just irritating. Physical therapy just means more appointments. I'm sick of appointments.
On Wednesday I had a 3 month checkup with Dr Hoberman and then I went home and started cleaning/purging. I made it through Lila's room, the basement "family room", and Bailey's room. I was cleaning from 11am until 10pm. I was worn out in the end, but felt like I definately got something accomplished (more on this later).
Us:
We have been spending lot's of time at the beach (the kids and I). It's been great. We try to go quite early, beat the crowds and get a good spot by the water, and by the time we leave it's always a sea of people and umbrellas!
Matt:
He's been busy at work (praises for that)! Football starts in a few weeks so that too will keep him busy. He's been slowly working on my little projects at home (they aren't done yet, which is why you still haven't seen pictures).
Landon:
Not much new to report. No current sports going on, he is leaving on a possum trip with church in a week and a half. We won't find out where he is going until he is on the bus leaving, but it should be a great trip.
Bailey:
Bailey turned 9. We celebrated at the beach with some of her friends (and mine) for the day! We took her out for ice cream instead of birthday cake in the evening. She picked a "Banana boat" from Captain Sundae, I think it was more about getting the biggest thing she could than what it actually was, she ate about 4 bites of the thing. After that she wanted to go to Target to spend a gift certificate so we were there until almost closing time, way late for me, but she had fun! She has been very into art creations lately. She really would like her own art room like one of her friends, but her budget doesn't allow for an addition on the house so were going to look for an old (a.k.a cheap) table to put down there for her.
She also spent a few nights at my aunts house in St Joe this week. She had a great time with them and can't wait to do it again! She had so much fun upon her return showing me all of her art projects! While she was gone we went through her room. My blood pressure was very low before beginning that process. I went through her closet and pulled out items that were a size 5, I went through her Polly Pockets and pulled out about 15 dolls without heads, I went through her Barbie's and threw away half the dolls, not to mention all of the "extra" junk sitting around that we threw away. Matt said that someday Bailey will be a t.v. star... she'll be on "Hoarders". We filled the garbage can (the outside one) with all of the junk from her room. I really thought she would be mad, but she doesn't seem to mind all that much, she actually likes that we cleaned her room! Whatever.
Elliot:
Oh Elliot. What can I say about him? He loves having a big brother and sister. He loves when Landon has friends over, he loves Landon's friends. (Bailey isn't so nice to him when she has friends over.) He has a knack fo rmaking us laugh. A lot. He all of a sudden has a fear of monsters and ghosts as well. I'm pretty sure it's a stall tactic of his, because he always hears noises in his room when it's time to get pajamas on. He can never decide on which pajamas to wear either, such a difficult decision! :)
Lila:
She took her first steps while getting ice cream for Baileys' birthday. Why is it no surprise that all it took was food? She is slowly walking more and more. It makes me both happy and sad all at the same time. I think she will be happier if she can walk, but it's just one more stage we are leaving behind. The girl definately knows her food, go ahead, next time you see her ask her if she wants to eat, but make sure you have food on hand because that girl knows what "eat" is and she WILL want food! ;)
Very often I forget that I have cancer. It definately helps that I'm feeling great and haven't had any really terrible side effects from the chemo. One of the major changes for me has just been all the appointments and trying to keep everything straight, but that's nothing terrible. This is probably the main reason I can stay so "strong" (not my word, but something I've heard a few times from others), I'm not sick, I can keep up with the day to day (for the most part). I only think about cancer on Tuesdays when I'm at chemo and on thursdays when I see Dr Dodde, other than that it's on the back burner.
Last night though it was brought back to reality. Cancer is not a joke, it is very real and a very real part of my reality. My heart was broken to hear that Lindy had cancer again, the doctors found two brain tumors. No one deserves cancer ever, much less cancer twice. Please say a prayer for her and her family and the doctors. We all know that God does amazing things, let's storm the gates of heaven with prayers!
July 21, 2010
As promised...
Bailey will be turning 9 next week. Hard to believe. She is her own person, a little bit tomboy, a little bit girly! She is creative, always coming up with something else to make, draw, paint, staple, tape... I love this girl!
Blueberry pictures: We had a great time. This is the first time Matt has ever gone with us. Typically we go in the morning, but it's been so hot lately that I haven't had the desire to go, but Monday night was a beautiful night for picking! We left with only 11.5 pounds, I'm sure we will be going back soon! Lila even got in on the action, I pushed her stroller right up to a bush and she kept herself happy picking all kinds/colors of blueberries and immediately consuming them!
Laundry: Lila loves to do laundry. More than anyone else in my house. If I say "Let's go do laundry Lila", she crawls her little butt right into the laundry room and stands at the dryer. She is a pro at getting everything out of the dryer and handing it to me (or throwing it on the floor if I'm not quick enough). But, she HATES it when I close the dryer and she can't get anything else out. This is her throwing one of her temper tantrums, she screamed and cried (while her loving mommy took pictures) for almost 10 minutes! Whatever!
Like I said, this girl (Bailey) can create. She made these costume for herself and Elliot!
(Not sure what Elliot's face is all about here!)
July 19, 2010
Friends and prayers
I feel as if I've been neglecting this blog and you all lately. I'm here, I just don't have words for my thoughts and there really hasn't been anything new or exciting happening. Not to mention we have been slightly busy!
Last week I think Matt and I just passed each other every day, or didn't see each other at all. It was a crazy week for our schedules. Monday night I worked at Paint a Pot, Tuesday I had chemo all day and then was able to make it to dinner with some great girls in the evening, Landon babysat and Matt went to a "meeting" for football. Wednesday night Matt went fishing (for perch this time! yum!). Thursday morning I dropped Bailey off at Camp Geneva with her friend Maddie. Thursday night Matt and I were actually both home, we decided to go to the ball fields for a bit and watch Cobe play (a.k.a. WIN!). Thursday night Landon stayed at my parents house so that he would be ready to leave for Black Lake in the morning, so on Thursday and Friday we only had two kids. Crazy how we used to think we were busy with 2! Saturday afternoon we picked Bailey up from camp and stayed and let the kids play in the water for about an hour, super nice. Camp Geneva has a great water area for everyone, including Lila!
A couple of pictures from some of the GREAT girl time I've had lately!
I have to say, I've been very blessed lately to be able to hang out with some great girlfriends!
Tomorrow is another chemo day. I'm praying for a much quicker visit this time! :)
I've made not of some great thoughts in my devotions recently that I wanted to share:
I will consider this whole cancer deal worth it if in the end I look more like Jesus, sound more like Him, even smell more like Him. I want it to be obviuos that I've spent time with Him. It's worth it, if somehow I can honor You by going through this experience, whatever the outcome. So I'm asking you to make it worth it. Make me more like Jesus. Make it undeniably evident that You are at work in my life. Honor Yourself. Part of a prayer written by Joanne Arentson from Praying Through Cancer
Holy Spirit, please develop in me the fruit of joy - a joy that's not based on my circumstances, but on my relationship with my Father. Let me be joyful in the simple gift of another day to love and be loved. Part of a prayer written by Lynn Eib from Praying Through Cancer
Lord, how grateful I am that my prayers always rise to You in heaven and You hear each one. Even the quietest prayers of my heart born out of faith are as important as my loudest prayers ignited by fervency. Thank You that You will hear and answer them all. How blessed am I to have You as the center of my life. A prayer based on Revelations 8:4, from The Power of Praying Through the Bible by Stormie Omartian.
Now that I'm not faced with being sick every day, I feel as if my prayers have gotten quieter, not quite as passionate always. I still pray frequently, I pray for many people frequently. I pray for myself, my husband and my kids frequently, but I feel as if I may not be praying as powerfully as I did when first diagnosed. But, I am reassured by reading this. They are all prayers of my heart, and they all mean just as much to him as my prayers of 2 months ago or 2 weeks ago.
**Coming soon:
1)pictures of my recent decorating project, it's not completely done yet, we ran out of black paint, I did get the first part hung up, just a few more things to hang. I REALLY like it though and can't wait to show you!
2) Blueberry picking pictures
3) Almost 9 year old pictures (of Bailey)
4) and whatever else I can come up with!
Last week I think Matt and I just passed each other every day, or didn't see each other at all. It was a crazy week for our schedules. Monday night I worked at Paint a Pot, Tuesday I had chemo all day and then was able to make it to dinner with some great girls in the evening, Landon babysat and Matt went to a "meeting" for football. Wednesday night Matt went fishing (for perch this time! yum!). Thursday morning I dropped Bailey off at Camp Geneva with her friend Maddie. Thursday night Matt and I were actually both home, we decided to go to the ball fields for a bit and watch Cobe play (a.k.a. WIN!). Thursday night Landon stayed at my parents house so that he would be ready to leave for Black Lake in the morning, so on Thursday and Friday we only had two kids. Crazy how we used to think we were busy with 2! Saturday afternoon we picked Bailey up from camp and stayed and let the kids play in the water for about an hour, super nice. Camp Geneva has a great water area for everyone, including Lila!
A couple of pictures from some of the GREAT girl time I've had lately!
EJ and I... EJ is almost 37 weeks pregnant, and back in Vermont. It was great having her stay here for a few days and be able to catch up with her!
I can't even believe I would post this picture, but whatever, it's me! We hung out with the girls one evening in my basement. Apparently everyone thought it was a bit chilly down there, can you tell? Oh, and we played the "Ungame", it was a BIG hit! This version was from 1975, it's a classic!
Kim was here from California last week, we finally got to meet her little man (shown behind Lila's big head, yes, that's lila the almost naked baby on Julie's lap)
I have to say, I've been very blessed lately to be able to hang out with some great girlfriends!
Tomorrow is another chemo day. I'm praying for a much quicker visit this time! :)
I've made not of some great thoughts in my devotions recently that I wanted to share:
I will consider this whole cancer deal worth it if in the end I look more like Jesus, sound more like Him, even smell more like Him. I want it to be obviuos that I've spent time with Him. It's worth it, if somehow I can honor You by going through this experience, whatever the outcome. So I'm asking you to make it worth it. Make me more like Jesus. Make it undeniably evident that You are at work in my life. Honor Yourself. Part of a prayer written by Joanne Arentson from Praying Through Cancer
Holy Spirit, please develop in me the fruit of joy - a joy that's not based on my circumstances, but on my relationship with my Father. Let me be joyful in the simple gift of another day to love and be loved. Part of a prayer written by Lynn Eib from Praying Through Cancer
Lord, how grateful I am that my prayers always rise to You in heaven and You hear each one. Even the quietest prayers of my heart born out of faith are as important as my loudest prayers ignited by fervency. Thank You that You will hear and answer them all. How blessed am I to have You as the center of my life. A prayer based on Revelations 8:4, from The Power of Praying Through the Bible by Stormie Omartian.
Now that I'm not faced with being sick every day, I feel as if my prayers have gotten quieter, not quite as passionate always. I still pray frequently, I pray for many people frequently. I pray for myself, my husband and my kids frequently, but I feel as if I may not be praying as powerfully as I did when first diagnosed. But, I am reassured by reading this. They are all prayers of my heart, and they all mean just as much to him as my prayers of 2 months ago or 2 weeks ago.
**Coming soon:
1)pictures of my recent decorating project, it's not completely done yet, we ran out of black paint, I did get the first part hung up, just a few more things to hang. I REALLY like it though and can't wait to show you!
2) Blueberry picking pictures
3) Almost 9 year old pictures (of Bailey)
4) and whatever else I can come up with!
July 15, 2010
Taxol #1
This week I had my first Taxol treatment. What a long day that was! Because it's the first dose they have to administer it much slower than normal. Much, much slower. I was there for almost 6 hours. At one point I was given a rather large dose of Benadryl, and as hard as I tried to stay awake, I just couldn't. I was so out of it that I felt as if I was coming out of surgery.
Normally, before going in I also put some Emla cream on my port to numb the skin prior to the needle being inserted. Oops. I forgot it this time. But no worries, I will NEVER do that again. Ouch! It was still hurting a little Tuesday evening.
Basically after I slept in the office for a while, I was totally fine. I ended up being able to join some friends for dinner Tuesday night and making it until almost 10:30 that night. No nausea or anything this time, just a little extra tired (yet unable to nap) and a bit of tingling in my fingers, which is completely normal. I can handle this!
Matt's been fishing which give me time to work on a few decorating projects around here (b/c it's so much easier when he's gone, did I ever tell you about the time that I took the sawzall to our pool at the old house while he was gone for the weekend? or all the times I started painting projects while he was gone?). Simple and cheap things that are sure to make a difference here at my house. If you've been here in the last 2 years you have probably noticed the lack of things hanging on my walls. But that is all about to change! I can't wait to show you pictures... soon!
Right now I'm about to wake up my daughter and bring her to camp for two nights! Have a great Thursday!
Normally, before going in I also put some Emla cream on my port to numb the skin prior to the needle being inserted. Oops. I forgot it this time. But no worries, I will NEVER do that again. Ouch! It was still hurting a little Tuesday evening.
Basically after I slept in the office for a while, I was totally fine. I ended up being able to join some friends for dinner Tuesday night and making it until almost 10:30 that night. No nausea or anything this time, just a little extra tired (yet unable to nap) and a bit of tingling in my fingers, which is completely normal. I can handle this!
Matt's been fishing which give me time to work on a few decorating projects around here (b/c it's so much easier when he's gone, did I ever tell you about the time that I took the sawzall to our pool at the old house while he was gone for the weekend? or all the times I started painting projects while he was gone?). Simple and cheap things that are sure to make a difference here at my house. If you've been here in the last 2 years you have probably noticed the lack of things hanging on my walls. But that is all about to change! I can't wait to show you pictures... soon!
Right now I'm about to wake up my daughter and bring her to camp for two nights! Have a great Thursday!
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