July 31, 2010


It is 3:44 am.  I'm awake and have been for quite some time now.  I shouldn't be awake, I've been sleeping great.  But I am.  I'm sitting here listening to crickets and the whirring of 2 fans.  My mind is consumed with someone else's pain.  Someone I know only through a few emails.  I don't know what to think or say, all I can do is pray.  And pray I have.  I don't think in the last 24 hours an hour has gone by that I'm not saying some sort of prayer for her, and I know that I am not alone in this, I know that God is hearing constant prayers, begging him to make it all go away. 

This all has me thinking of my cancer and my own mortality more.  I had a clear PET scan, it didn't show more cancer.  But, that doesn't mean I will never have cancer again.  Cancer is an ugly word and an even uglier disease.  I hate cancer.  Because I've been feeling so good, both Matt and I tend not to think about cancer anymore, but reality is, it could come back at any time, it will always be a factor in my life.  A big factor.  Did I mention I hate cancer?

As I often do when I wake up in the middle of the night, I turned to my devoational book.  A few quotes from Praying Through Cancer
  • Don't forget in the dark what you've learned in the light. 
  • It is not that any of us would choose to have cancer.  But, as Christians, we're in a win-win situation.  Some wise wordsmith put it this way: "The worst that can happen is the best that can happen."
Please, join me in saying prayers for others with cancer.  Pray that they would have peace, energy, healing... and God's arms wrapped around them tightly!


Beck said...

I have felt similarly overwhelmed in the last 24 hours as well, and I've never met her. So thankful the Holy Spirit intercedes when we don't have the words.

MandaKay said...

Praying as well - constantly I feel like - for you both and others dealing with these cancers. I tear up reading this post and Lindy's last post because I am so angry that two beautiful strong young women are faced with these pains so early in life, while kids are growing and life should be so full of life. But I know God has a plan for each of you and like your one statement in here - God's plan is good either way, and there is a peace in that (even if just a little at times).

Sluiter Nation said...

I hate cancer. I hate it. Too many people that I have loved have had to battle it. too many? As if one isn't too many. Sigh...I hate cancer.

Anonymous said...


Please know how much you and the "girls" mean to Lindy. Your bond through cancer is one that none of us can relate to or ever begin to understand.
Praying for Peace for you through this journey.
Jill Graves

Karen Arnoldink said...

We tend to put our cancer in the back of our minds when we feel good,and our reports are all good and then you hear Lindy's latest report and in brings it all forward again and it scares you.
We continue to pray for you,and your family.