June 8, 2010

Hair today... AND tomorrow

Most of you have heard me complain about this already, so if that's the case, I apologize, I really try not to complain to much, but this I will complain about.  My hair has still not fallen out.  From my neck down it's definately thinned and slowed down in the growing process, but neck up it's all there.  Well, what was left of it after I had my time with the clippers at least.  We are 21 days into this already, I was GUARANTEED it would fall out by day 14.  100% guaranteed.  FOR SURE.  NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.  WHATEVER.

I think at one time I may have admitted that this was the one area I could have control, in most other areas I was ok to surrender control.  Ha!  Shouldn't have even tried to control this one little thing because God is just using it to teach me a lesson.  Let him steer the bike.  Granted, if my hair never falls out I will not be upset, just annoyed at myself for jumping the gun.  Soon it will be long enough to have in a short spiky hairstyle, which is SOOO not me, but could be fun for a little while.  Until it grows half way down my back again.  I'm sick of seeing commercials for shampoo.  Seriously, gorgeous hair, just flowing around and around and here I am... G.I. Jane.  Lovely!  Oh well, I'm letting it go.  I will {try} not to complain anymore about this!

Everything else has been going pretty smoothly around here.  As smoothly as it can go with all the kids home from school now.  It's always hard to adjust the first few weeks, and then again the first few weeks they are back at school are an adjustment as well, I don't mind having them home, we just need to work on a few rules and chores and charts or something. 

Lila is feeling MUCH better.  We went to get re-checked this afternoon and all looked good, they said to start weaning her on the breathing treatments so that was a good thing.  Although I will admit that I think she started to enjoy them, and I kind of did too.  We would turn on some bright colorful cartoons and just snuggle while the machine chugged along.  It's not often I get to snuggle with my girl anymore!

My energy level has been pretty good.  Today was a full day and I'm sure I will feel it and pay for it tomorrow.  I didn't really sit down until about 7:30 at a meeting at church for Landon.  This is two days in a row that I didn't take a nap.  That's big news even when I'm not taking chemo drugs, much less when I am!  :)  This is the same time last treatment though that I crashed.  I see the psychologist on Wednesday following my treatments and I pretty much had a breakdown last time, but it was after I had done way to much all at once, so I'm praying that I make it through my appointment tomorrow without breaking down again.  I think a good night sleep would help that a lot. 

My heart is heavy with prayer concerns tonight for others, and once again a few verses jumped out at me, one for myself:
Psalm 63:3-4 (The Message) In your generous love I am really living at last.  My lips brim praises like fountains.  I bless you every time I take a breath; my arms wave like banners of praise to you. 
I feel like through this whole process I am finally able to give God the praise he deserves in my life, just sad that it takes this to make me see him worthy of so much praise.
and one for myself and others:
Matthew 6:34 (The Message) "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.  God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
A great DAILY reminder!


Missy and Kaden said...

Lynette - I am praying for you and I love hearing how God is at work in your life. I understand all too well that sadness that comes with realizing it took "this" to allow our lives to shine for Him the way He always intended it too. I traveled that same journey myself. Just remember whatever it took to wake us up has made Him overjoyed to see us shining for Him. Keep shinging, girl! You are beautiful in SO many ways.

Anonymous said...

GI Jane was hot-just remember that! :)
Will continue to pray for you all!


Anonymous said...

While I guess the doctors are not always right. Marilyn's hair did fall out after 14 days, just as they said it would. So let's just say maybe you beat the odds with the hair and being terrible sick. So give thanks to God. Rose

Anonymous said...

haha We were told the same thing when Bob went through his last chemo ---he would FOR SURE LOOSE ALL HIS HAIR. GUARANTEED If you know Bob at all, he was just stubborn enough to prove them wrong. He didn't lose any. It gave us something to smile about through all the treatments. And he still laughs about it now ----Blessings and prayers to you and your family----Bob and Norma Borst