Lets get real...

When you talk are you giving people the impression that your life is PERFECT?

We all do it.

We highlight the great parts of our days, kids, marriages etc. we all know in reality that no one has a PERFECT life, yet when that is what we hear over and over and over again, what are we supposed to think?

I'm not thinking of anyone in particular with this post, so don't get all paranoid or anything, I'm mostly reminding myself that I want to be real. Without sounding as if I'm complaining. Or overdoing it.

 Because sometimes I think I sound like a wicked witch of a mother, but I promise I'm not (most of the time).

 I'm just being completely honest.

 I do yell at my kids when I've had enough. And sometimes I yell because I'm overwhelmed with things that have nothing to do with them.

 I do disagree with my husband. And, I do hold a grudge. Silently. For a little while.

 I do feel forgotten sometimes. By family, friends, God. And I do get sad. Sometimes I cry. (that brings me to a whole other topic though...)

 I do feel like a failure as a parent. I haven't taught them enough about how to spend and save wisely. Or how to be a good friend. Or how to be compassionate. Or how to use common sense. Are they going to be ok in life because of all of my failures? I don't know. And sometimes it worries me.

 But, those things are all normal. Why cant we all just be honest about it?

 And to clarify...
 I know that I am the best mother I can be.
I'm the best wife I can be.
I'm the best friend I can be.

 I think this post has gotten away from me again... But what I really wanted to say was... Try to be real. Let the walls down, reveal a little of yourself, we can all learn from each other!

What do you get when you mix...

Baseball
Volleyball camp
Basketball camp
Basketball practice
The edge (sports training camp)
Friends, both new and old
Family
Vacation bible school
More basketball
Sprinklers
Fountains
Garden picking (and immediately devouring)
Pools
Fishing
Lawn mowing
Impromptu beach trips (how lucky are we that it is completely acceptable to head to the beach for only half of an hour?)
Lazy mornings in bed (it's almost 11 and I'm still in bed, Lila is napping next to me)
Doctor appointments
Dentist appointments
Laundry
Summer stretch (aka forcing one child to read once in a while)
 And throw a few birthdays in the mix...
 What do you get?

Summer!
And, I wouldn't change any most of it!

 I would love to squeeze a bit of family time into the mix... A short vacation would be great, but we will have to wait and see I guess. It's likely that is just a dream!

 I reset the timer in my car to see how many hours I spend driving in a week... I have until Thursday evening to complete a week, I'll let you know. I'm expecting a significant portion of my life is spent behind the wheel!

Prayers please

Not for me.  But for a lot of other people.

Do you have those days when you scroll quick through facebook and see sadness after sadness?  And then you go through your blogs quick and see more?  And you know that all you can do is pray?  But you don't feel as if it's enough?  And so you want to ask those around you to pray with you?

Please just be aware of those around you and the prayers they may be needing.

If you could specifically pray for:
Lindy, Dusty and family
Matt's Grandma Helen, she is in the hospital right now (since late last week) due to bleeding on her brain
Those that have recently had babies, specifically those whose babies are experiencing complications right now,
Those undergoing treatment for cancer
All the teachers and kids who are about to be done with school for the summer
Safety for those traveling right now
Those grieving the loss of a loved one

This is by no means an exclusive list, I'm positive there are many things going on that I know nothing about, there are things that no one knows anything about, just God, which is why we pray to Him.

My REALlife. Right now.

So, last night I started a new sleeping pill. The first one I was on (and have been on for years) started having some not so stellar effects on my weight, weird, the second was giving me nightmares about three times a week(typically I was murdered, which makes for a very unrestful nights sleep and a grumpy mama in the morning).

 So, on to number three. Last night was not so great, let's say that I WILL be increasing the dose tonight so that I can sleep past 4am. TV was a little creepier at 4am than I remember, and it wasn't long at all until it was bright outside and the birds were going CRAZY.

 So, so that I wouldn't disturb my peacefully sleeping husband, I went out on the couch. First I tried to watch some tv. Creepy. It's amazing how many weird people are in this world. Then I watched some old episodes of Cougar Town that I wanted to catch up on. Better. Still couldn't sleep. I read a little. But I was so tired I couldn't really comprehend anything I was reading. Time to try something else. How about some bejeweled (how do some people get such astronomically high scores in that game?) Nope, that didn't work either (duh!). Then I finally decided to try closing my eyes and listening to the birds. Bam. That worked. For a minute.

 Until I heard the bedroom door open. No it wasn't the creepy people from 4am TV, it was the creepy cute people from the bedroom next to mine. I quickly covered my head with the blanket, but it didn't work, it's as if that child can smell me like a hunting dog after the kill. I was not happy. I had JUST fallen into a light sleep.

"Hi mom!" came that all to cheerful morning voice. But, it's only cheerful for a minute. Then it just gets whiney, no worries though, her whiney voice only lasts from about 8am until 10am we leave to go SOMEWHERE, and then again from about noon until she is napping, oh, and then when she wakes up from her nap until about bedtime, so really, not so bad.

 "Hi hunny", I reply into my pillow.

 "I want to watch cartoons".

 "Go tell your dad". (who, is sleeping in our bed, with the remote control to turn the tv on, I on the other hand am in the living room without a tv).

 I hear little footsteps walk toward the bedroom, and then walk back.

 "He is sleeping".

 I hear lots of not so kind words going on in my head right then. But I keep them in my head. It's better that way.

 "But I was sleeping to dear child of mine!". (or something like that).

 And so the day begins.

 "Can you get me breakfast?"

"Mom, I need toilet paper."

"I want milk"

"Not in that cup, in the OTHER cup"

"I need my face washed"

"I wanted to spread the butter and throw sprinkle the cinnamon and sugar all over the house toast"

"can reed come over?"

 "Where are we going today?"

"Who's coming over?"

"Mama, who coming' over'?"

"who coming ove'?"

"Awwwwww, I want a fwend come over'!"

"do you want to get dressed? Cuz, I feel like I do. I really feel like I do want get dressed. OK mom?"

 God, help me deal with this whining for however much linger it has to last, but maybe even better would be if she would quit whining quite so much. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Amen

Is it really getting easier?

It wasn't long ago that I dreaded the thought of Matt going fishing.  It meant I had three kids home with me (typically) and I had to entertain them myself, take them wherever we wanted to go by myself etc.  really not a big deal but if it was a Saturday or Sunday night I kind of expected (and was used to) him being around to help me.  But for the past two years he has out his life on hold to take care of me after surgeries and during chemo.  So, now it's his turn.

He has been out fishing a few times already, and he loves it.  I should also mention he is working full time (obviously) and coaching baseball and will be coaching football at the end of fishing season as well, so his fishing times are pretty limited.  I'm getting used to it.  And, bonus, Elliot loves to go now too, so it ends up being girls at home!

A few weeks ago (I tried to post a similar post then, but something got messed up and it didn't go through), the boys were out fishing and it was HOT out.  So, what were the girls supposed to do?  Well go to the beach of course.  It was a last minute idea, and it was so nice that we were out the door ten minutes later.  No diapers, no sippy cups, very few beach toys (just enough), no food (the nice part of an evening beach trip), and no chairs (the nice part of a short beach trip).  We got there around 5:45ish.  The beach was still quite busy, but we had no problem walking right down to the water and plopping ourselves down.  Lila had a ball playing in the water, filling buckets with water and digging holes, bailey tried to stay out of the water mostly, but did help Lila dig a little!  We stayed for about an hour and a half and then picked up our stuff and walked back to the car.  Just one bag.  Easy-peasy!  

I felt so free!  And it made me very excited for more beach/pool days this summer! 

It's a good thing I'm excited for those, because summer is almost here. Literally.  I've kind of been freaking out getting some stuff together so that we keep a little routine in our lives.  What are my expectations?  What are the kids expectations?  How in the world am I going to get and keep this house clean?  What can I do to help the kids not loose everything they have learned this year? (none of them actually qualified for the Zeeland Summer Stretch program, although I think bailey is going to be doing some sort of book club that she is looking forward to). How am I going to figure out who needs a ride to where and when every day (the bummer of summer is that I'm running around a lot more).

For now though, we sit and snuggle and watch cartoons and try not to freeze our sunburns off!