April 22, 2011

Once again

I'm back, sorry it's been so long... once again.  I just never know what to say.  How much to say really.  I don't ever want to come across as whining and so I withold some of the truth, and I don't ever want to withold to much from so many people that have been praying so faithfully for me.

Over the course of the last year (yes, it's now been one year, which some of you remembered, thank you for the cards, facebook messages and emails), I've realized that while yes, I have cancer, so many have it so much worse.  Cancer is nothing in the big bucket of problems/trials.  It's that really little pebble that is hard to find (for me anyway), everyone else seems be carrying a rock, or even boulder. 

I will tell you that I have been dealing with a LOT of anxiety.  I don't know why, but I know that it feels like I have a brick on my chest at all times.  I've tried giving it to God, but obviously there is some part that I can't let go of.  I've tried some meds, which work ok, I'm seeing a counselor next week, and hopefully he can adjust my meds so that we have something that works all the time, something that will compliment my faith and time with God.  (This is how silly it is... I'm stressing right now because I have a pen and highlighter dedicated to bible study/quiet time.  It's the only one I use, I take it with me when I take my book anywhere.  (It's a bit obsessive I know), this morning, I find that they are both GONE.  Surely by the hands of a little culprit.  Surly by the hands of someone who didn't know how important in my mind those two little things were.  But, none the less... they are gone.  I've prayed, I've used somehting different, but I'm still obsessing, I"m anxious about where those pens are... and by this point your thinking I need to seek more help than I am, I'm sure.  I promise, I'm really ok. 

While your praying for crazy me, could you please pray for some cancer friends of mine?  Some that are facing some big stuff, some that found out "good" news, and some that are hoping to find out good news?  I would appreciate it and I know that they would as well!

I finally started dowloading pictures last night, it's been over a month since I have.  Soon I will be bombarding you with pictures from a certain little someones birthday!  Hint... she's kinda cute, she wears the most adorable pigtails, her belly hangs over her diaper, looks awfully cute in jeggings and has an attitude way bigger than herself! 

I intended this to be longer, but my favorite 4 year old just woke up and I think we need to snuggle for a bit before we start our day!  So... more later. 

1 comment:

Joanne said...

Lynette, I know EXACTLY what you are saying about the writing instrument obsession. I have had it my entire life! My favorite pens appear in strange places...from a hotel in Louisville during a BSF Leaders' Retreat ( It's finally running out of ink...what WILL I DO?) When people reach for my pens I panic ( inwardly) because if they push too hard they ruin the tips and they don't work the way I like them to. I carry them in my left hand through BSF like a baby with my "taggies"...seriously. It is a comfort to know I AM NOT ALONE!