Looking ahead

These every other week appointments have been kind of nice.  I know that I initially wanted them to just get going, skip the off week, just get this done with, but I'm now realizing that it's giving my body a chance to be "normal" for a week.  And that week feels great!  In four days I have my last "every other week" treatment, then I have a week off and then for 12 weeks straight I get to go in for a treatment.  Should be fabulous.  I'm not sure how that will all go, it's a different treatment alltogether, so it's like starting over for me.  I don't like not knowing, have I ever mentioned that I like to be in control?  Of my life at the very least?  Well, I do. 

I am so amazed by the number of people that purchased coupon books from 84 East, 8th Street Grill and Froggy's.  THANK YOU so much.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you!  We received our check today and were just dumbfounded by the amount.  It will definately help to cover some of the medical bills that have been mounting!  What a blessing you all are!

When Marci and Bethany dropped the check off I was telling them that I'm a bit fearful that I'm making myself seem a bit stronger on this blog than I am in real life.  Sometimes it's easier to type things than to actually {Bell-ieve} them.  I do quite often (especially lately) think about the fact that cancer does kill people, I COULD die, am I using my time to make the best family memories possible? 

I DO complain, sometimes a lot (feel sorry for my husband), but often I am thrown back into reality by something I read or see, someone who has it so much worse than I could EVER imagine.  I don't KNOW that I'm going to die due to cancer, but there are many people who do know that thier cancer is terminal.  I'm lucky. 

I am blessed in SO MANY ways!  I am blessed by your prayers, I am blessed by your meals, I am blessed by your time, I am blessed by your cards, visits and calls, I am blessed by your finanacial donations, I am blessed by your kindness and your concern.  I thank you for sharing your gifts with me and my family.  As we get further and further into this I'm feeling more and more overwhelmed by your generosity, I don't know how to thank everyone.  I don't even know where to begin.  I could never repay anyone for all they have done.  I know that the majority of you do not expect me to repay you, but we live in a society where it is not easy to ask for help, or to accept help freely.  I will always carry this weight of gratefulness, looking for ways to repay, and I will soon be healthy and strong again and be able to pay it forward in some small way!