Kurt shared this at church this week and I loved it, I loved that it was almost like I could have written it (except mine would have had many more gramatical and spelling errors...) Please take just a moment and read it, you WILL be moved, I promise!
When I first met Christ
It seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride,
But it was a tandem bike,
And I noticed that Christ
Was in the back helping me pedal.
I don't know just when it was that
He suggested we change places,
But life has not been the same since.
When I had control, I knew the way,
It was rather boring, but predictable...
It was the shortest distance between two points.
But when He took the lead,
He knew delightful long cuts,
Up mountains, and through rocky places,
At breakneck speeds,
It was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness,
He said, "Pedal"
I worried and was anxious and asked,
"Where are you taking me?"
He laughed and didn't answer,
And I started to learn to trust.
I forgot my boring life
And entered into the adventure.
And when I'd say, "I'm scared,"
He'd lean back and touch my hand.
He took me to people with gifts that I needed.
Gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy.
He said, "Give the gifts away;
They're extra baggage, too much weight."
So I did, I gave them to the people we met,
And I found that in giving I received,
And still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him, at first, In control of my life.
I thought He'd wreck it;
But He knows bike secrets,
Knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners,
Knows how to jump to clear high rocks,
Knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.
And I am learning to shut up
and pedal in the strangest places,
And I'm beginning to enjoy the view
And the cool breeze on my face
With my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.
And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore,
He just smiles and says...
"Pedal."
May 24, 2010
May 23, 2010
Bald is...
something! Were not to beautiful yet, but maybe someday I'll feel it!
Puttin' it out there, eventually you'll all see it anyway, while I have beautiful wigs to use I found after wearing one for a day that I will definately need to use scarves or nothing in the humidity if it's not necessary to have hair... when it is necessary and not necessary will completely depend on how I feel in the moment I think!
So, there I am, gaining a little self confidence just by showing it off, you may see me in many different forms in the next few months! Scarves (I bought some pretty material to attempt to make my own, using liquid stitching of course), bald or full head of hair!
Hair one day, gone the next
The plan: to shave my head surrounded by friends and family on Sunday evening
The reality: Matt left me inside long enough by myself Saturday evening that I did it myself.
Not sure why, maybe it was because we had had a very busy day, family pictures, visit from an old friend, dinner with different friends, long walk, campfire.... I'm not sure what came over me, but I picked up the scissors and started cutting (laughing at myself between tears as I realized how very very BAD I looked in a mullet, I almost took pictures, but couldn't stop myself long enough). Then after the big pieces were off I got out the clippers and shaved it all off. And then I went and sat on the couch and cried and cried and cried. I feel very very ugly. It's not just about my hair either, it's the surgeries, the scars and the hair all put together into one big MESS.
Then Matt and Landon came in from the fire and found my pile of hair on the floor (which Matt cleaned up w/o a complaint) and came and laughed and cried with me. Landon is still scared that I'm going to make him shave his head as well (I'm not of course). Matt claims that as ugly as I am he still loves me.
So now I prepare myself to go out in public... which wig do I put on? What will people say? Will the wig stay in place? What are my two youngest going to think of me when they wake up? And Bailey when she returns home?
Now I look like a cancer patient. Yesterday I could hide that I was a cancer patient.
God is so good though, I know that he will make me strong and give me peace. (Psalm 29:11)
A sense of God's wholeness will come and settle me down (Phillipians 4:6-7)
God knows the number of hairs on my head, and the number not on my head, he knows how many hairs I will loose because of cancer, just that he knows that small detail brings me comfort, because that means he knows the big stuff too. (Matthew 10:30)
Lord, I put my appearance at your feet. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of true inner beauty through this journey of cancer. You desire the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in your sight. Thank you for your love and patience toward me as you peel away layers of vanity and pride. I praise you for the gift of your peace that passes all understanding.
(Prayer by Laura Geist found in Praying through Canceer)
The reality: Matt left me inside long enough by myself Saturday evening that I did it myself.
Not sure why, maybe it was because we had had a very busy day, family pictures, visit from an old friend, dinner with different friends, long walk, campfire.... I'm not sure what came over me, but I picked up the scissors and started cutting (laughing at myself between tears as I realized how very very BAD I looked in a mullet, I almost took pictures, but couldn't stop myself long enough). Then after the big pieces were off I got out the clippers and shaved it all off. And then I went and sat on the couch and cried and cried and cried. I feel very very ugly. It's not just about my hair either, it's the surgeries, the scars and the hair all put together into one big MESS.
Then Matt and Landon came in from the fire and found my pile of hair on the floor (which Matt cleaned up w/o a complaint) and came and laughed and cried with me. Landon is still scared that I'm going to make him shave his head as well (I'm not of course). Matt claims that as ugly as I am he still loves me.
So now I prepare myself to go out in public... which wig do I put on? What will people say? Will the wig stay in place? What are my two youngest going to think of me when they wake up? And Bailey when she returns home?
Now I look like a cancer patient. Yesterday I could hide that I was a cancer patient.
God is so good though, I know that he will make me strong and give me peace. (Psalm 29:11)
A sense of God's wholeness will come and settle me down (Phillipians 4:6-7)
God knows the number of hairs on my head, and the number not on my head, he knows how many hairs I will loose because of cancer, just that he knows that small detail brings me comfort, because that means he knows the big stuff too. (Matthew 10:30)
Lord, I put my appearance at your feet. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of true inner beauty through this journey of cancer. You desire the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in your sight. Thank you for your love and patience toward me as you peel away layers of vanity and pride. I praise you for the gift of your peace that passes all understanding.
(Prayer by Laura Geist found in Praying through Canceer)
May 21, 2010
Manna in the desert
I know I posted already today, but I just had to add something! God is SOOO good. He gives us no more than we need, but he gives us no less than we need either. He gives us exactly what we need. Just when we need it too. I have received gifts at the perfect time, the exact time that we need them, and each time it brings me to tears.
I can't explain it any other way than that God knows. He just knows. Just like when God provided manna in the desert for the Isrealites, he provided everything they needed, each day, just what they needed, not more, not less. He is so amazing, isn't He? Isn't He?
I can't explain it any other way than that God knows. He just knows. Just like when God provided manna in the desert for the Isrealites, he provided everything they needed, each day, just what they needed, not more, not less. He is so amazing, isn't He? Isn't He?
Piece of Cake
No, not the cake you eat, this chemo thing is looking to be a piece of cake compared to what I expected I guess! I wake up every morning with a headache (tylenol extra strenght to the rescue) and some nausea (some other pill to the rescue). My NuLasta shot didn't do anything terrible to me so far, I had some bone pain Wednesday night, but nothing unbearable. I'm DEFINATELY very tired, but that's not that much different than life pre-chemo. So, if it doesn't get any worse than this, were golden!
I have been so blessed by all of you, faithfull prayer warriors on my behalf, but today I ask you to pray for some other people that are heavy on my heart. I know you like specific prayer requests, but I'm leaving out a lot of details here because they aren't my details to give.
a pregnant friend that is in the hospital w/ an infection
a friend that lost a child yesterday
Situations like these bring me back to reality, this is only temporary, not everyone has temporary pain. The pain of loosing a child will never go away, some day I will be cured of this disease and it will be a part of my past. My life is good, praise God for each moment!
I have been so blessed by all of you, faithfull prayer warriors on my behalf, but today I ask you to pray for some other people that are heavy on my heart. I know you like specific prayer requests, but I'm leaving out a lot of details here because they aren't my details to give.
a pregnant friend that is in the hospital w/ an infection
a friend that lost a child yesterday
Situations like these bring me back to reality, this is only temporary, not everyone has temporary pain. The pain of loosing a child will never go away, some day I will be cured of this disease and it will be a part of my past. My life is good, praise God for each moment!
May 19, 2010
God's war, not mine
I try to remember that title at every turn. I can't do this, but he will provide for me in many many ways that will make it possible for me to do it,, no one or no thing can take my life before God's time just like he protected David in 1 Samual 23:14-15 and 26-28 click here to link to the passage NIV style and here to link to it The Message style (prefer but there are extra verses included here so may be best to read both)
Yesterday was a very anxious day. Very heavy heart, heavy with anxiety about the PET scan results and what the heck this chemo was going to do to me for the next two weeks. But then we got the reults of the PET scan (YAY) and it didn't get much better (yes we celebrated as much as one can in a small room with a bed and chair, but the anxiety didn't go away). It was the chemo that was to come, accessing the port for the first time (which I understood nothing about except I put lot's of numbing lotion on top of it prior to leaving my house), it was just a long long day of unknowns. So many have been so helpful in preparing me for this day, allowing me to ask questions and giving me lot's of answers and tips and prayers, for that I am thankful.
As I was waiting in line to check in I heard lot's of talk to my left about hair. How it was growing back in. When did my life become about hair loss and re-growth? It felt very surreal.
The port access went great as soon as they switched types of tape they used, which is strange b/c I've never had any issues with medical tape, but apprently yesterday my body decided to fight more painful tape being pulled off my body (because I am quite sick of peeling tape off, it hurts almost worse than surgery, probably because I'm sedated, but you know...).
All the injections and drips went great, we were there for 4.5 hours, hopefully that's a bit longer than normal, but that will just give me another unknown in two weeks when I return.
I was very very very tired in the afternoon, but of course got no sleep (truly, it's so not like me to request this, but if you want to call, I would LOVE to talk to you, but the afternoon may not be the best time to call, phone will probably be shut off between 1-3 from now on). I started feeling nauseous at around 4:30 but took a pill and it subsided enough that I could eat another delicious dinner delivered by a friend. Around 9 it started again and I just took the other antineausea/anxiety pill and was out for most of the night. I woke up once, but not for long, I think I just chnaged the channel from "The Nanny" to "Cheers" (oh the joys of late night t.v.)
So, today is a new day. A busy new day. I have to get Elliot to school, then return to go on a field trip with him (walk to get ice cream), then a NuLasta injection at the office (w/ possible hydration), and then choir concert for my oldest, greatest, 11 year old tonight. So, please please please say lot's of prayers for a feeling great, high energy day today!
This is God's war, not yours. 2 Chronicles 20:15 (The message verson)
Yesterday was a very anxious day. Very heavy heart, heavy with anxiety about the PET scan results and what the heck this chemo was going to do to me for the next two weeks. But then we got the reults of the PET scan (YAY) and it didn't get much better (yes we celebrated as much as one can in a small room with a bed and chair, but the anxiety didn't go away). It was the chemo that was to come, accessing the port for the first time (which I understood nothing about except I put lot's of numbing lotion on top of it prior to leaving my house), it was just a long long day of unknowns. So many have been so helpful in preparing me for this day, allowing me to ask questions and giving me lot's of answers and tips and prayers, for that I am thankful.
As I was waiting in line to check in I heard lot's of talk to my left about hair. How it was growing back in. When did my life become about hair loss and re-growth? It felt very surreal.
The port access went great as soon as they switched types of tape they used, which is strange b/c I've never had any issues with medical tape, but apprently yesterday my body decided to fight more painful tape being pulled off my body (because I am quite sick of peeling tape off, it hurts almost worse than surgery, probably because I'm sedated, but you know...).
All the injections and drips went great, we were there for 4.5 hours, hopefully that's a bit longer than normal, but that will just give me another unknown in two weeks when I return.
I was very very very tired in the afternoon, but of course got no sleep (truly, it's so not like me to request this, but if you want to call, I would LOVE to talk to you, but the afternoon may not be the best time to call, phone will probably be shut off between 1-3 from now on). I started feeling nauseous at around 4:30 but took a pill and it subsided enough that I could eat another delicious dinner delivered by a friend. Around 9 it started again and I just took the other antineausea/anxiety pill and was out for most of the night. I woke up once, but not for long, I think I just chnaged the channel from "The Nanny" to "Cheers" (oh the joys of late night t.v.)
So, today is a new day. A busy new day. I have to get Elliot to school, then return to go on a field trip with him (walk to get ice cream), then a NuLasta injection at the office (w/ possible hydration), and then choir concert for my oldest, greatest, 11 year old tonight. So, please please please say lot's of prayers for a feeling great, high energy day today!
This is God's war, not yours. 2 Chronicles 20:15 (The message verson)
May 18, 2010
Quick and OH SO SWEET
PET scan was clear, the disease hadn't spread to any other areas of my body! (I think that that alone means that I need to CELEBRATE, have a party, go on vacation, whatever, just something)
Chemo treatment numero uno: almost done, I'm counting my injection tomorrow as part of the treatment I guess, but so far what I got today did nothing (so far) but make me very very very sleepy. VERY!
That is why I'm going to end my post here... back later with more!
Chemo treatment numero uno: almost done, I'm counting my injection tomorrow as part of the treatment I guess, but so far what I got today did nothing (so far) but make me very very very sleepy. VERY!
That is why I'm going to end my post here... back later with more!
On my heart
These are a few of the verses that have been on my heart lately, just a few I reiterate, because there are a LOT of great verses that God gives to me each day through cards, friends and devotionals. So many that I should write a book! (Except we already have that book, it's called the bible)!
Perfume and Incense bring joy to the heart and a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. :: Proverbs 27:9 (NIV/MSG)
I know what I'm doing, I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for :: Jeremiah 29:22 (MSG)
And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him. :: 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 (MSG)
Yes, indeed - God is my salvation. I trust, I won't be afraid. God - yes God! - is my strength and song, best of all, my salvation! :: Isaiah 12:2 (Msg)
Big day today, which is probably why I'm not sleeping. I'm very very anxious, more to get the PET scan results than to start chemo, but God is good and he is my strength, song and salvation, he won't abandon me, he plans to give me a future I hope for (ultimately heavenbound) and he has provided me with friends to refresh my soul! He is a good, good God!
Because obviously everyone else likes thier hair as much as I do, I have decided to do it with a few close friends and family for support, why is hair such a big thing? Something so petty that is so overly consuming? It will be easier to be done than to sit and think about it.
Perfume and Incense bring joy to the heart and a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. :: Proverbs 27:9 (NIV/MSG)
I know what I'm doing, I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for :: Jeremiah 29:22 (MSG)
And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him. :: 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 (MSG)
Yes, indeed - God is my salvation. I trust, I won't be afraid. God - yes God! - is my strength and song, best of all, my salvation! :: Isaiah 12:2 (Msg)
Big day today, which is probably why I'm not sleeping. I'm very very anxious, more to get the PET scan results than to start chemo, but God is good and he is my strength, song and salvation, he won't abandon me, he plans to give me a future I hope for (ultimately heavenbound) and he has provided me with friends to refresh my soul! He is a good, good God!
Because obviously everyone else likes thier hair as much as I do, I have decided to do it with a few close friends and family for support, why is hair such a big thing? Something so petty that is so overly consuming? It will be easier to be done than to sit and think about it.
May 16, 2010
Upcoming Events
First of all, I have to announce that I finally joined Team Bell! and I would love it if you joined as well. I will more than likely be walking the 5k (my goal would be to run it, but I don't think that will happen, who knows though), I'm hoping to convince my husband and kids to do it as well! So, join us, let's get the biggest team out there! Sarah is arranging to t-shirts for our team as well, more info soon on that I'm sure (maybe as a guest blogger, who knows! ;)
Second, we had a great sermon on friendship today at church (which will soon be available here), it ended with this song, which I'm sure we are all to familiar with from our younger days... (did I just say that???)
Sometime in our lives we all have pain (Ummmm, now)
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise we know that there's
Always tomorrow
Lean on me when you're not strong and
I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride if I have things
You need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
that you won't let show
Just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long till 'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load
if you just call me
Just call me when you need a friend
Just call me when you need a friend...
I appreciate all of my friends (both new and old) that have been this song for me. Someone to lean on! You have all been AMAZING! So, once again, as I was listening to this song I remembered how lucky I was and the tears welled up, like I said, AGAIN! It seems to happen every Sunday because of something said, a prayer said (I'm getting used to hearing my name now though), or a song sang. It is such a good feeling to be surrounded by wonderful Christians, some of which I know are praying for me on a regular basis!
Third(ly): I start chemo Tuesday. It's a start of an ending. An ending of cancer occupying my body. Yup, cuz I'm gonna win this battle! So, bye bye cancer, I won't miss you, you were never welcome here, you just need to leave. NOW! (b/c if you leave NOW I could just skip chemo and wouldn't that be better for all of us???) Just kidding, so far I do not know what to expect, and that's ok, it's probably better for me, I'm not that nervous (yet, although I'm going to assume that that will all change tomorrow sometime). I'm not sure how this whole port thing works, I know to apply EMLA cream, but to be quite honest, it's still an open wound, will it hurt if I do that? Where exactly do I apply the cream? Will I feel the drugs being pumped into my body? Will I be tired? Will I be foggy? Will I get nauseous? Questions, Questions and more questions, some of them questions that no one can answer for me because it's all based on my body, my dose of drugs, my reaction, so we wait. We wait and see. I'm still keeping on keeping on though. I plan to attend Landon's choir concert Wednesday night, I plan to attend Landon's baseball game Friday night. We have nothing planned all weekend which may be a good thing, but WHO KNOWS. HE knows, that's who. And He will care for me, He will protect me, I will lean on Him!
Fourth(ly): My hair will be falling out approximately 14 days after starting chemo. I'm not sure that I can deal with watching it fall out by the handful, so I'm deciding what I want to do about that. Do I want to wait until it starts and then shave it off or do I want total control of that situation and just shave it myself before that all starts? I'm thinking the latter. Control. Something I really really like (although I'm learning more and more that my controlling things doesn't make it better, but allowing God to control sure does make things better, although not always easier). So, I'm thinking a head shaving party may be in order... anyone want to join me? I'm hoping to convince Landon to join me, Matt will easily join me (the others are out, I just won't let it happen). Maybe some pizza, pop and razors! Wouldn't that be fun? Seriously. I think it would be easier if I did it with friends than by myself, I'm more likely to make it fun and funny than sad and devastating. Let me know, either comment or email me. Let's make it a BIG party!
Fifth(ly): Goodnight! Sleep tight! I won't, but you definately should!
Sixth(ly): (at 4:58 in the morning of course) I am going to start walkling more. Hopefully every day. Because I hear it helps with effects of chemo, but it will be hard for me to do alone, Julie has graciously offered to walk with me a couple of days a week but I need others to keep me accountable as well, so if ever you feel like walking (hopefully 2 miles or so to start) please feel free to contact me. Right now I don't dare make any definate plans b/c of the unknown effects of treatment so it's not something I want to schedule or anything, but please just think of me if you are wanting to walk!
Second, we had a great sermon on friendship today at church (which will soon be available here), it ended with this song, which I'm sure we are all to familiar with from our younger days... (did I just say that???)
Sometime in our lives we all have pain (Ummmm, now)
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise we know that there's
Always tomorrow
Lean on me when you're not strong and
I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride if I have things
You need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
that you won't let show
Just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long till 'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load
if you just call me
Just call me when you need a friend
Just call me when you need a friend...
I appreciate all of my friends (both new and old) that have been this song for me. Someone to lean on! You have all been AMAZING! So, once again, as I was listening to this song I remembered how lucky I was and the tears welled up, like I said, AGAIN! It seems to happen every Sunday because of something said, a prayer said (I'm getting used to hearing my name now though), or a song sang. It is such a good feeling to be surrounded by wonderful Christians, some of which I know are praying for me on a regular basis!
Third(ly): I start chemo Tuesday. It's a start of an ending. An ending of cancer occupying my body. Yup, cuz I'm gonna win this battle! So, bye bye cancer, I won't miss you, you were never welcome here, you just need to leave. NOW! (b/c if you leave NOW I could just skip chemo and wouldn't that be better for all of us???) Just kidding, so far I do not know what to expect, and that's ok, it's probably better for me, I'm not that nervous (yet, although I'm going to assume that that will all change tomorrow sometime). I'm not sure how this whole port thing works, I know to apply EMLA cream, but to be quite honest, it's still an open wound, will it hurt if I do that? Where exactly do I apply the cream? Will I feel the drugs being pumped into my body? Will I be tired? Will I be foggy? Will I get nauseous? Questions, Questions and more questions, some of them questions that no one can answer for me because it's all based on my body, my dose of drugs, my reaction, so we wait. We wait and see. I'm still keeping on keeping on though. I plan to attend Landon's choir concert Wednesday night, I plan to attend Landon's baseball game Friday night. We have nothing planned all weekend which may be a good thing, but WHO KNOWS. HE knows, that's who. And He will care for me, He will protect me, I will lean on Him!
Fourth(ly): My hair will be falling out approximately 14 days after starting chemo. I'm not sure that I can deal with watching it fall out by the handful, so I'm deciding what I want to do about that. Do I want to wait until it starts and then shave it off or do I want total control of that situation and just shave it myself before that all starts? I'm thinking the latter. Control. Something I really really like (although I'm learning more and more that my controlling things doesn't make it better, but allowing God to control sure does make things better, although not always easier). So, I'm thinking a head shaving party may be in order... anyone want to join me? I'm hoping to convince Landon to join me, Matt will easily join me (the others are out, I just won't let it happen). Maybe some pizza, pop and razors! Wouldn't that be fun? Seriously. I think it would be easier if I did it with friends than by myself, I'm more likely to make it fun and funny than sad and devastating. Let me know, either comment or email me. Let's make it a BIG party!
Fifth(ly): Goodnight! Sleep tight! I won't, but you definately should!
Sixth(ly): (at 4:58 in the morning of course) I am going to start walkling more. Hopefully every day. Because I hear it helps with effects of chemo, but it will be hard for me to do alone, Julie has graciously offered to walk with me a couple of days a week but I need others to keep me accountable as well, so if ever you feel like walking (hopefully 2 miles or so to start) please feel free to contact me. Right now I don't dare make any definate plans b/c of the unknown effects of treatment so it's not something I want to schedule or anything, but please just think of me if you are wanting to walk!
May 14, 2010
PET scan results
Please pray for positive results from the PET scan, I'm getting a little nervous. When we first found the cancer it looked small and early, probably not in the lymph nodes is what we heard. Then we had surgery and the 2 small lumps were actually one and 11 of 17 lymph nodes had cancer, so what started out as something not so bad seems to be getting worse and worse and worse. I can't say I'm worried, just a little nervous, because no matter what I know that this is all God's will, he will protect me, he will give me strength when I have none, he will heal me! But really, life would be easier if we heard that the cancer has not spread to any other areas of my body, much, much easier. So, as I head off to GR in about 1/2 an hour I would just appreciate your prayers once again for clear results!
Thanks
Thanks
May 13, 2010
Psalm 103:1-4
1 Let all that I am praise the Lord;
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
2 Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me.
3 He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
4 He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
And that's all I need to say tonight, just needed the reminder for myself!
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
2 Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me.
3 He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
4 He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
And that's all I need to say tonight, just needed the reminder for myself!
WOW!
WOW! That went quick, you have all once again humbled me. We are so blessed. (Have I said that before?) I added dinner dates less than 3 hours ago and look at that, they are all gone. I'm AMAZED. Matt is AMAZED. We are overwhelmed. We are grateful. We are loved. Thank you! I've avoided naming names in specific thank you's for the reason that I know I will forget someone and offend someone, but know that we are thankful to ALL OF YOU, all of you that have prayed, sent cards, dinner, gift cards, money, flowers, called, emailed, whatever it is, we are thankful! Whoever the secret angels are, thank you as well!
WOW! 9 inches. Gone. And this is only half of it, there is another piece just like this!
What happened to my hair?????
Pay no attention to my lovely bracelets!
Port placement went very well today, quick and easy, very little to no pain, anesthesia is a wonderful thing! (These pictures were taken tonight, hours after the procedure)
Thank you for the prayers.
PET scan tomorrow (which has meant a low carb diet all day, didn't go to well with dinner, but dinner won over, it was another delicious one that I just couldn't say no to).
Meals & Update
I promised many of you that I would notify you when I added dates for meals... so I am letting you know that I did add a few dates. I don't know how chemo is going to go, how I'm going to feel, how the family is going to feel, how busy summer will actually be etc etc etc, so again, this could change, but just wanted to start off with a few!
P.S. The port procedure went well today, just a bit tired, but nothing major, it's in which is great for me b/c quite honestly I'm SICK of i.v.'s!
FUNDRAISER INFO (written by Sarah Huizenga- guest blogger...haha)
There will be several fundraisers for the Bells in the upcoming months to help them out with medical bills insurance isn't covering. One begins Monday....it is a great way to help the family while also helping yourself to some great deals at 3 local yummy restaurants. Contact Bethany or Marci soon to purchase yours!
May 12, 2010
The heating pad tragedy
Yes, heating pads are tragic things. When they can't be found it's even more tragic. It makes a person cry. A lot. And then the husband comes to the rescue and finds it immediately. I'm so lucky to have such a great husband! An amazing husband really! He puts up a with a lot, from me and our kids and his job, and he just keeps going. I love him so much and am so thankful for him! But please keep him in your prayers as well, there is plenty of stress in his life right now!
Ephesians 5:28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.
So today my schedule changed more times than I could EVER count on one hand or maybe even two. Originally I was scheduled to have my port put in at 6:10 in the evening. Hello, that meant clear liquids until noon and then NOTHING the rest of the day. But, lucky for me (yeah, never thought I would say that) I'm a diabetic and that's not an ideal schedule to go with insulin. So, they bumped me up to the top of the list, now I have to be at the hospital at 9:15 (Thursday morning), not sure of exact procedure time but I think it's about 10 and it should only take 1/2 an hour with light anestesia so that I can pretty much leave almost as soon as they are done.
Then the original plan was to get a PET scan on Friday morning in Grand Rapids at 11am and be back in Holland for the MUGA test at 2:45, tight on time, but doable. Got most of that figured out as far as rides go and then that all changed too. The PET scan is still Friday at 11, but you can't do both a PET and a MUGA on the same day, there has to be 2 days in between. So now the MUGA test is in Holland on monday at 9:45am.
Then, if all is well, Chemo Tuesday. And that's all I can say about that right now.
I took a big step today, a drastic step actually, but I think I will just keep you in suspense and show you pictures when I get them downloaded. Soon. Some of you may know already, but shhhhh, it's a secret! ;)
I've got a couple of tentative things planned in the next few weeks, so be on the lookout for more information on that! And of course, Sarah has lot's of things planned, because she's just so good at that, things I don't even know about but she just takes control and get's things done, which is what everyone in my shoes should have (personally I think she needs to make this a new job)!
One of my biggest joys each day is going to the mailbox and opening cards. I have to say that I LOVE real mail. One reason is that I don't feel as if I have to respond like I do with emails, but the real reason is that it's just so hearwarming to read all of the messages and see all the people who care. So, thank you for all the cards! Thank you for just a little bit of joy in my day!
And, aren't you proud of me, I'm posting this before tomorrow, as in middle of the night tomorrow. Now I plan to get a few hours of sleep before I wake up again!
Ephesians 5:28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.
So today my schedule changed more times than I could EVER count on one hand or maybe even two. Originally I was scheduled to have my port put in at 6:10 in the evening. Hello, that meant clear liquids until noon and then NOTHING the rest of the day. But, lucky for me (yeah, never thought I would say that) I'm a diabetic and that's not an ideal schedule to go with insulin. So, they bumped me up to the top of the list, now I have to be at the hospital at 9:15 (Thursday morning), not sure of exact procedure time but I think it's about 10 and it should only take 1/2 an hour with light anestesia so that I can pretty much leave almost as soon as they are done.
Then the original plan was to get a PET scan on Friday morning in Grand Rapids at 11am and be back in Holland for the MUGA test at 2:45, tight on time, but doable. Got most of that figured out as far as rides go and then that all changed too. The PET scan is still Friday at 11, but you can't do both a PET and a MUGA on the same day, there has to be 2 days in between. So now the MUGA test is in Holland on monday at 9:45am.
Then, if all is well, Chemo Tuesday. And that's all I can say about that right now.
I took a big step today, a drastic step actually, but I think I will just keep you in suspense and show you pictures when I get them downloaded. Soon. Some of you may know already, but shhhhh, it's a secret! ;)
I've got a couple of tentative things planned in the next few weeks, so be on the lookout for more information on that! And of course, Sarah has lot's of things planned, because she's just so good at that, things I don't even know about but she just takes control and get's things done, which is what everyone in my shoes should have (personally I think she needs to make this a new job)!
One of my biggest joys each day is going to the mailbox and opening cards. I have to say that I LOVE real mail. One reason is that I don't feel as if I have to respond like I do with emails, but the real reason is that it's just so hearwarming to read all of the messages and see all the people who care. So, thank you for all the cards! Thank you for just a little bit of joy in my day!
And, aren't you proud of me, I'm posting this before tomorrow, as in middle of the night tomorrow. Now I plan to get a few hours of sleep before I wake up again!
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