Things are starting to come together. As I mentioned yesterday, I got my drains out! And I couldn't be more happy about that, sleeping last night was so wonderful (although spotty). Taking a shower yesterday was even better, this morning is going to be wonderful again! And maybe again this afternoon!
I got a little saline fill up yesterday as well and I can tell, the muscles are a little tight, but bareable.
Today E get's to go to school and I get to drive him there!!!! Yay! My driving priveleges have been very very limited, more by my husband and friends than my doctor, but just because they care! Then I get to go to a doctor appointment with Dr Hoberman.
Tomorrow I get to have my port put in around 6:00pm, I have to do my pretesting before then too.
Friday I have to get my MUGA test in the the afternoon, my PET scan has yet to be scheduled, hopefully I will find out what time that is tomorrow. I have called the endocronologist twice and left messages and have yet to hear anything, but there is nothing I can do (long story), so I guess I'll just proceed without him, I do have an appoinment set up in about a month with him so that will have to be good enough.
May 12, 2010
May 11, 2010
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Thank you for your prayers! BOTH drains have been removed, I am about to get in the shower and I will probably stay there for an hour!!!! I was also "filled" up just a little bit! It was a great appointment all in all. I have an appt with Dr Hoberman tomorrow morning, then Thursday afternoon I am getting a port put in so that chemo can start... fun times! But in the meantime, I get to take a shower!!!!!
No suprise...
God has blessed us again. He just keeps on going, for which we are so very very thankful!
My wig needs have been taken care of! Praise God (and I promise I won't get the spiky one, because that would just be wierd)
My wig needs have been taken care of! Praise God (and I promise I won't get the spiky one, because that would just be wierd)
The Short Story (it was supposed to be short but got longer)
Here's the short story, without all the drug names and probably with a few mistakes... but it's 2:30am, what do you want? ;)
Lila has her one year appt today, thank you to Kate for taking her to that with me! Lot's of shots unfortunately, luckily she tends to handle them pretty well! She also got a third tooth finally (it's been five months since she got her bottom two)
I have an appt with Dr Dodde today (Tuesday), please pray that these lovely drains are removed.
I have an appt with Dr Hoberman on Wednesday (that I apparently scheduled in an anesthesia fog) and I'm guessing we will discuss inserting a port.
Sometime soon I will have a PET scan ordered (Grand Rapids for that) and a MUGGA test ordered.
Sometime in the next week some scheduling miracles need to happen so that I can meet with my endocronologist.
I have about 15 prescriptions to pick up (small exageration)
If all goes well, I will start my first round of chemo next Tuesday.
First I will have 4 treatments, every other week that will consist of:
Cytoxan which stops the growth of cancer cells, causing them to die and
Adriamycin which does the same thing.
The day after this treatment I will go back in for an injection of Neulasta which is used to increase the white blood cells
After those treatments I will have 12 more treatments (one per week) of Taxol which stops cell division, resulting in cell death and Herceptin which, long story short, kills the cancer cells (noticing a pattern here?).
After that I will continue with the Herceptin every three weeks for the remainder of a year and also undergo radiation for 6 weeks (every day).
From there it looks like I will be on an oral pill for 5+ years, although I can't read what that pill is and don't seem to have the information on that, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
The doctor did guarantee, w/o a doubt, that I would loose my hair approximately 2 weeks after my first treatment. That is rough for me. I'm debating how I want to go about all of this. I think that I want to cut my hair very short first and donate what hair I have (because I have quite a bit), but I've NEVER been a short haircut type of girl, it just doesn't work well for me. When it starts to fall out a little I will then shave it all off, I say "I", but that is definately not the plan, someone else is going to have to do that for me, and may have to put up with tears while they do it. I plan to get a wig that looks similar to what I have now (maybe with a little twist, like bright red or really really curly or something... ha ha ha), unfortunately my insurance does not cover that, but it is important enough to me that we will find the money somewhere for that, I don't care what it takes. It may seem petty and unimportant, but you just try to picture yourself bald once... how does that feel?
Let me know if you have any opinions on the wigs I linked to... I'd really appreciate the help deciding!
Lila has her one year appt today, thank you to Kate for taking her to that with me! Lot's of shots unfortunately, luckily she tends to handle them pretty well! She also got a third tooth finally (it's been five months since she got her bottom two)
I have an appt with Dr Dodde today (Tuesday), please pray that these lovely drains are removed.
I have an appt with Dr Hoberman on Wednesday (that I apparently scheduled in an anesthesia fog) and I'm guessing we will discuss inserting a port.
Sometime soon I will have a PET scan ordered (Grand Rapids for that) and a MUGGA test ordered.
Sometime in the next week some scheduling miracles need to happen so that I can meet with my endocronologist.
I have about 15 prescriptions to pick up (small exageration)
If all goes well, I will start my first round of chemo next Tuesday.
First I will have 4 treatments, every other week that will consist of:
Cytoxan which stops the growth of cancer cells, causing them to die and
Adriamycin which does the same thing.
The day after this treatment I will go back in for an injection of Neulasta which is used to increase the white blood cells
After those treatments I will have 12 more treatments (one per week) of Taxol which stops cell division, resulting in cell death and Herceptin which, long story short, kills the cancer cells (noticing a pattern here?).
After that I will continue with the Herceptin every three weeks for the remainder of a year and also undergo radiation for 6 weeks (every day).
From there it looks like I will be on an oral pill for 5+ years, although I can't read what that pill is and don't seem to have the information on that, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
The doctor did guarantee, w/o a doubt, that I would loose my hair approximately 2 weeks after my first treatment. That is rough for me. I'm debating how I want to go about all of this. I think that I want to cut my hair very short first and donate what hair I have (because I have quite a bit), but I've NEVER been a short haircut type of girl, it just doesn't work well for me. When it starts to fall out a little I will then shave it all off, I say "I", but that is definately not the plan, someone else is going to have to do that for me, and may have to put up with tears while they do it. I plan to get a wig that looks similar to what I have now (maybe with a little twist, like bright red or really really curly or something... ha ha ha), unfortunately my insurance does not cover that, but it is important enough to me that we will find the money somewhere for that, I don't care what it takes. It may seem petty and unimportant, but you just try to picture yourself bald once... how does that feel?
Let me know if you have any opinions on the wigs I linked to... I'd really appreciate the help deciding!
Susan G Komen Race for a Cure
The following is from Sarah
Friends family and supporters of Lynette~
I have formed a team for the Susan G Komen race in Grandville on September 25, 2010. The team is called TEAM BELL, and we will be raising money in Lynette's name to go towards a cure for breast cancer. I would LOVE to have the biggest team to enter the race! All you have to do is go to this site: http://race.komengr.org/ and click on register now. Then click on Join an Existing Team. You should find TEAM BELL already formed- please join that team. You can get people to donate to our team to raise money. I ran this race last year and not only is it for a great cause, it is a lot of fun. They have tons of vendors, music, booths etc. that you can visit after the race. So whether you are a runner or not, whether you are personal friends with Lynette or not, whether you know someone who has had breast cancer or not, it is still a great cause! And you non-runners, don't despair! You can register for the 5K Walk. They also have divisions for kids and other runs in addition to the 5K, so bring the whole family!
I am also ordering t-shirts for race participants that you can purchase once I get them in. You do NOT have to purchase a shirt to be on TEAM BELL, but they will be for those who want one. They will have the Sayiwont motto on them, with RUN TEAM BELL on the front. The girl t-shirts will be white with the Sayiwont saying in turquoise and TEAM BELL in pink, and I am still working on a color scheme for the guy shirts.
I know you won't regret participating in this worthy cause! So dust off your running or walking shoes, and get in shape- you have approximately 4 months to get ready and to raise money!!!!! And please, forward this email around to as many people as you think would be interested!
Attached is the picture of the girl's shirt, but TEAM BELL will be added in pink below the Sayiwont RUN. Other Sayiwont gear can be found at: http://www.sayiwont.com/
I will contact those who register for TEAM BELL closer to race time to get a t-shirt order.
Friends family and supporters of Lynette~
I have formed a team for the Susan G Komen race in Grandville on September 25, 2010. The team is called TEAM BELL, and we will be raising money in Lynette's name to go towards a cure for breast cancer. I would LOVE to have the biggest team to enter the race! All you have to do is go to this site: http://race.komengr.org/ and click on register now. Then click on Join an Existing Team. You should find TEAM BELL already formed- please join that team. You can get people to donate to our team to raise money. I ran this race last year and not only is it for a great cause, it is a lot of fun. They have tons of vendors, music, booths etc. that you can visit after the race. So whether you are a runner or not, whether you are personal friends with Lynette or not, whether you know someone who has had breast cancer or not, it is still a great cause! And you non-runners, don't despair! You can register for the 5K Walk. They also have divisions for kids and other runs in addition to the 5K, so bring the whole family!
I am also ordering t-shirts for race participants that you can purchase once I get them in. You do NOT have to purchase a shirt to be on TEAM BELL, but they will be for those who want one. They will have the Sayiwont motto on them, with RUN TEAM BELL on the front. The girl t-shirts will be white with the Sayiwont saying in turquoise and TEAM BELL in pink, and I am still working on a color scheme for the guy shirts.
I know you won't regret participating in this worthy cause! So dust off your running or walking shoes, and get in shape- you have approximately 4 months to get ready and to raise money!!!!! And please, forward this email around to as many people as you think would be interested!
Attached is the picture of the girl's shirt, but TEAM BELL will be added in pink below the Sayiwont RUN. Other Sayiwont gear can be found at: http://www.sayiwont.com/
I will contact those who register for TEAM BELL closer to race time to get a t-shirt order.
May 10, 2010
Rough Day - Finally
I wasn't going to share this, but figured you have to have the bad with the good, and it's 1:45am and I'm wide awake after about 30 minutes of sleep.
Today we had a wonderful Mother's Day celebration for me, given by Mary, but attended by many close and wonderful friends. There was a super cool cake made by ******** (Mary will have to give me the information to fill that in so I can give proper credit because she did a great job). It was wonderful to visit with friends and family alike, but I won't lie, it was tiring. That is one thing that seems to happen a lot lately, I get very very tired, very very fast, I'm sure due to the fact that I had surgery a week ago, but whatever.
There were pink boxing gloves, representing fighting this cancer until I win. Because I will win. It will be tough, but I will win, that hasn't changed.
But then I got home. Worn down after many days festivities, I checked my email and as I always am, I was overwhelmed by kindness, messages and friend requests. Overwhelmed in a great way. Then I decided to change into comfy clothes... and lost it. I think in the last few days I have lost some range of motion in my left arm. I have to admit that after surgery I was pretty proud of myself for being able to do so much with it, I was able to put my hair in a ponytail (not a pretty one, or a tight one, but a ponytail none-the-less). Now, I'm not. It hurts to take my shirts off. Prior to surgery I was told that I wouldn't be able to pull a shirt over my head, I would have to wear zip-ups, but the day I went home I had on a tank top and a sweatshirt with no problem whatsoever. Today I also had on a tank top with a sweatshirt. I struggled to get the tank top off. Like really struggled, very painful. It frustrated me and I started crying. And cried and cried and cried and cried. I'm not strong. I'm weak, very weak. I'm scared. Scared of what I will have to endure to win this battle. Scared that after doing a CT or PET scan they will find cancer somewhere else. I cried harder than I have cried in a long long time. And to be completely honest, it felt really, really good.
So, if you read this before tomorrow afternoon, please pray hard for me while I'm at the doctor. I don't even know how to put into words what to pray for, I just know that I will be at the doctor at 1:00pm and would appreciate prayers. If I don't make complete sense here just refer back to the first sentence... it's 1:45am, enough said!
May 8, 2010
Tired
I'm finding that I want to be able to do a lot more, I'm finding that a week out of surgery I feel as if I should be able to build a 10 story building, grocery shop for everyone, care for my children 100%, attend all sporting events, shop for clothes to hide this hideous body and still stay awake past 8:00. Now obviously I'm a little ambitious. I'm probably not going to be able to get every one's grocery shopping done. But it's getting hard for me to sit around and watch as other take care of my needs.
Today you may or may not have spotted me at a certain baseball game (may not would be the smartest case as it was 40 degrees and rainy out), I was determined to get there and so I drove myself there (no worries, I hadn't had pain pills in over 12 hours), but no worries, that won't happen again anytime soon. I shopped for a bit this afternoon for some necessities, and had friends over for dinner, but now I find myself sitting on the couch watching Ice Age about ready to fall asleep. I'm finding that small things are wearing me out very quickly, which I hate. I think tomorrow, Mothers Day, I will be taking it easy. I'm still undecided about church, it all depends on what kind of magic my clothes can do and my confidence level at 10 in the morning, but then there is mothers day dinner and then cake at night. (By the way, if you are so inclined, Mary is doing cake and Ice Cream at her house if you are interested in joining us between 5-7, feel free). Next week is supposed to be a big week as well, meeting with the oncologist on Monday, meeting with the plastic surgeon on Tuesday (please pray these drains come out, because I'm going to be completely honest and say they are a big pain in the butt), at some point I will get a port put in (possibly next week) and I'm going to guess that starting chemo won't be far behind.
I have had the support of some amazing people. Along with my friends who I try to mention frequently there have been some amazing women that have traveled this journey just before me that are more than willing to share their tricks/tips and advice, and for that I am so grateful!
Please note, I may not list specific prayer requests with every post, but I will try to either type them in pink or highlight them in pink (like with this post).
And, I may have referenced this before, but found it applicable for mothers day:
Proverbs 31:10-31 (The Message)
Hymn to a Good Wife
A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
Today you may or may not have spotted me at a certain baseball game (may not would be the smartest case as it was 40 degrees and rainy out), I was determined to get there and so I drove myself there (no worries, I hadn't had pain pills in over 12 hours), but no worries, that won't happen again anytime soon. I shopped for a bit this afternoon for some necessities, and had friends over for dinner, but now I find myself sitting on the couch watching Ice Age about ready to fall asleep. I'm finding that small things are wearing me out very quickly, which I hate. I think tomorrow, Mothers Day, I will be taking it easy. I'm still undecided about church, it all depends on what kind of magic my clothes can do and my confidence level at 10 in the morning, but then there is mothers day dinner and then cake at night. (By the way, if you are so inclined, Mary is doing cake and Ice Cream at her house if you are interested in joining us between 5-7, feel free). Next week is supposed to be a big week as well, meeting with the oncologist on Monday, meeting with the plastic surgeon on Tuesday (please pray these drains come out, because I'm going to be completely honest and say they are a big pain in the butt), at some point I will get a port put in (possibly next week) and I'm going to guess that starting chemo won't be far behind.
I have had the support of some amazing people. Along with my friends who I try to mention frequently there have been some amazing women that have traveled this journey just before me that are more than willing to share their tricks/tips and advice, and for that I am so grateful!
Please note, I may not list specific prayer requests with every post, but I will try to either type them in pink or highlight them in pink (like with this post).
And, I may have referenced this before, but found it applicable for mothers day:
Proverbs 31:10-31 (The Message)
Hymn to a Good Wife
A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
Happy Mothers Day!
May 6, 2010
Thorns
I honestly don't know what day it is, when I wake up in the middle of the night or middle of the morning I'm very confused as to whether it's morning or night, but I've also come to realize that it just doesn't matter, what does it matter if it's 4 in the morning or 4 in the afternoon when all you do is lay on the couch, watch tv, read, facebook or sleep, the time changes nothing about my day. Someday it will matter again, someday soon hopefully. Right now I am very tired, which must mean that it's 10:40PM, but could be am, who really knows.
I encourage you to read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 the version from the Message follows, but if you click on the link it will take you to the NIV version.
7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
God gave me this thorn/handicap/limitation to test my rescources on a daily basis, but I can live with this thorn because God gives me the rescources to do it on a daily basis, hourly basis. He is my source of strength, courage and hope. He will care for me, he will hear me when I cry out, he will protect me. He is my EVERYTHING!
What weakness is he giving you that you are not using for the right purpose? What weakness is he telling you to lean on him, take it to him? Find that weakness today and give it over to him,
Prayer Reqeust:
A little more strength, I seem to get tired very quickly
That I would be able to wean myself off the pain pills soon
The drains will come out soon
Good weather, and energy and desire, for everyone running this Saturday, whether it be 5K, 10K (Yikes) or 25K (Double Yikes)
Relief for the stress that Matt, Sarah and Julie are feeling
Prayers for a friend that has been in the hospital with a few complications, the details aren't specific, but God knows what she and her family need
I encourage you to read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 the version from the Message follows, but if you click on the link it will take you to the NIV version.
7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
God gave me this thorn/handicap/limitation to test my rescources on a daily basis, but I can live with this thorn because God gives me the rescources to do it on a daily basis, hourly basis. He is my source of strength, courage and hope. He will care for me, he will hear me when I cry out, he will protect me. He is my EVERYTHING!
What weakness is he giving you that you are not using for the right purpose? What weakness is he telling you to lean on him, take it to him? Find that weakness today and give it over to him,
Prayer Reqeust:
A little more strength, I seem to get tired very quickly
That I would be able to wean myself off the pain pills soon
The drains will come out soon
Good weather, and energy and desire, for everyone running this Saturday, whether it be 5K, 10K (Yikes) or 25K (Double Yikes)
Relief for the stress that Matt, Sarah and Julie are feeling
Prayers for a friend that has been in the hospital with a few complications, the details aren't specific, but God knows what she and her family need
May 5, 2010
Misc
The pain is manageable (w/ the pain meds of course). I've come to really really like the pain meds. Never before have I liked pain meds this much, not only do they eliminate pain but they make me sleep really really well too! They are the best. The only problem is keeping them all straight, which ones to take every 4 hours, 6 hours, once a day, twice a day.... but I think so far I've managed. With the help of some friends I made it down to the junk food wagons to enjoy a funnel cake and some fries loaded with vinigar!!! YUM!
My appointment with the oncologist has changed to Monday in Grand Rapids (although most of the treatments/appointments will take place in Holland in the future). I'm thrilled to be able to get in sooner than expected! I'm very ready to get these drains taken out so that I can take a shower, wash my hair on my own (although I'm very very grateful to Lindsey for washing and drying it for me). It will be a long time before I wear a lot of my clothes again, I look a little funny right now, but sweatshirts do thier job hiding it mostly! I'm ready mostly to know what treatments are going to follow, if the cancer has spread anywhere else and if I'm going to loose my hair. How long is this road going to be? So many questions that right now only God knows the answer too, I have to depend on him to guide me down this road, there is only one set of footprints here because he is carrying me! There is peace in his arms!
My appointment with the oncologist has changed to Monday in Grand Rapids (although most of the treatments/appointments will take place in Holland in the future). I'm thrilled to be able to get in sooner than expected! I'm very ready to get these drains taken out so that I can take a shower, wash my hair on my own (although I'm very very grateful to Lindsey for washing and drying it for me). It will be a long time before I wear a lot of my clothes again, I look a little funny right now, but sweatshirts do thier job hiding it mostly! I'm ready mostly to know what treatments are going to follow, if the cancer has spread anywhere else and if I'm going to loose my hair. How long is this road going to be? So many questions that right now only God knows the answer too, I have to depend on him to guide me down this road, there is only one set of footprints here because he is carrying me! There is peace in his arms!
May 4, 2010
"Fight Like a Girl"
I am not the one to start this saying or the one to come up with the logo, but Amy has graciously allowed Mary to sell t-shirts for her, to raise money for Amy & her Angels to do the 3 day 60 mile walk for breast cancer (Go Amy Go!). Shirts can be purchased by mailing Mary a check (3063 104th, Zeeland MI 49464) with the information clearly included as to what size and quantity you were looking for. All orders are due by June 12 and orders can be picked up the end of June (details to follow). If you need shipping there will be an additional charge. Shirts can be purchased to wear in honor of someone battling or someone that has battled cancer, I would love it if all of my friends had them, you have all been so very supportive!
Shirts are all gray and short sleeve for now (long sleeve and sweatshirts may be offered at a later date)
Youth 2T, 3T, 4T, Small, Medium, Large and X-Large $10.00
Small, medium, large and x-large for $12.00
2X for $13.00
3X for $15.00
Shipping (if you can not make the pick-up dates) are $6 for up to three shirts
Please include your name, number of shirts ordered and size of shirts desired along with contact information, preferably an email address, but a phone number will work as well.
Your order is NOT placed until money has been RECEIVED!
You can join the facebook page here to find out more information or email myself lynettebell@chartermi.net or Mary at marymaly@hotmail.com
Pathology Report
I had an appt w/ doctor Dodde this morning which ended up to be pointless, but it meant that I got to see Dr Hoberman while I was there. She had just received the pathology report this morning, which is what we have kind of been waiting for. The report showed that they had removed 17 lymph nodes (2 of which were the sentinel nodes) and 11 of the 17 were found to have cancer in them. What does this mean? Well, so far it means that next week (or at least soon) they will put in a port instead of poking me all the time and I will probably start chemo fairly quickly and will also have to undergo radiation. It's definately not what I had hoped for. They also thought that the two original lumps that were found were actually one, which just means it is bigger than they thought originally.
This information all scares me. I think originally I heard the doctors say that they didn't think it was in the lymph nodes and that there were two fairly small spots. All pointing to the fact that they caught it early. But now that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. I will more than likely have a ct scan or a PET CT scan once I see an oncologist next week to make sure it hasn't spread any further. Please pray that that comes back clean adn that the cancer is contained. I'm scared of having to make decisions but am trusting God to guide both myself, my husband and the doctors in the best choices for me. God has been so good and provided so much more than I deserve I know he will not leave me now.
From 2 Chronicles 13:13-18 I want to raise a war cry to the Lord, he will make me victorious, just as he heard the cry of Judah and made him victorious as well. There were 500,000 casualties at the enemy camps, I want 500,000 casualties of cancer cells in my body! Our God is good, he is a God of miracles, a God of peace and a God of comfort, he is my God, he is my source of strength, because without him I surely woudn't make it through even just one day!
This information all scares me. I think originally I heard the doctors say that they didn't think it was in the lymph nodes and that there were two fairly small spots. All pointing to the fact that they caught it early. But now that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. I will more than likely have a ct scan or a PET CT scan once I see an oncologist next week to make sure it hasn't spread any further. Please pray that that comes back clean adn that the cancer is contained. I'm scared of having to make decisions but am trusting God to guide both myself, my husband and the doctors in the best choices for me. God has been so good and provided so much more than I deserve I know he will not leave me now.
From 2 Chronicles 13:13-18 I want to raise a war cry to the Lord, he will make me victorious, just as he heard the cry of Judah and made him victorious as well. There were 500,000 casualties at the enemy camps, I want 500,000 casualties of cancer cells in my body! Our God is good, he is a God of miracles, a God of peace and a God of comfort, he is my God, he is my source of strength, because without him I surely woudn't make it through even just one day!
May 3, 2010
Returning to normal
I desire so much to return to normal. To be able to get up of a chair or couch or bed without any pain, to be able to put my hair in a ponytail without thinking it's a huge accomplishment. To be able to carry my plate to the counter after dinner, or carry on a conversation w/o struggling to stay awake. Little things that we don't normally think about. Little things that we've just taken for granted. I want to be free of the limitations that surgery has placed on my body and mind and be able to depend on myself again instead of everyone else to do everything for me. But that is obviously not God's plan for me in this. He is wanting to mold me into a dependant person, a person that is dependant on Him above anyone or anything else. I pray that he either heal me physically or at least help me to peacefully accept my circumstances, he knows what is best for me, I just need to accept that.
Father, please help me to turn my weakness to strength in you, help me to depend on you always, to trust in you in all circumstances. Help me to accept my current physical and emotional circumstances, rescue me from my unrealistic expectations. Help me to bring you glory in all circumstances. Be with my children, bring them peace and release them from any fears they may have. Help them to feel free to discuss any concerns they may have. Give all of those that are so supportive the energy to keep being supportive and the energy to keep praying for us. Thank you God for all you have provided for us in these circumstances, your love and provision is amazing.
Amen
Father, please help me to turn my weakness to strength in you, help me to depend on you always, to trust in you in all circumstances. Help me to accept my current physical and emotional circumstances, rescue me from my unrealistic expectations. Help me to bring you glory in all circumstances. Be with my children, bring them peace and release them from any fears they may have. Help them to feel free to discuss any concerns they may have. Give all of those that are so supportive the energy to keep being supportive and the energy to keep praying for us. Thank you God for all you have provided for us in these circumstances, your love and provision is amazing.
Amen
May 2, 2010
What a difference...
What a difference a few days makes. Last week I was having a hard time accepting all the offers of help, now I'm willing to take any and all help offered. In some ways this surgery went easier than I expected, but in others it is much harder. I have a lot of movement in my left arm, a lot more than I originally thought I would have. Putting my hair in a ponytail is quite difficult/painful, but do-able. I'm on quite a few pain meds (trying to balance all of that has been interesting, all I can say is I'm so very thankful for my husband). While the meds take away most of the pain they also make me very very sleepy and probably a little loopy as well. I have been blessed to have people offer to wash my hair for me, something I would have never thought of. The hospital had a sink to wash my hair in yesterday, and while I can't take a real shower, getting my hair washed was an amazing feeling (and Sarah fulfilled her dream of being a hairdresser)! Amazing how the little things do so much to lift my spirits!
Specific prayer requests:
The pathology report comes back showing only a few lymph nodes with cancer and that the cancer hasn't spread further than the lymph nodes
Relief from pain
Patience for Matt while he has to do so much for me
Patience for all the caretakers of my children
Peace for my children as there are so many changes in thier schedules right now
We would have peace and continued reliance on God during this difficult time
Specific prayer requests:
The pathology report comes back showing only a few lymph nodes with cancer and that the cancer hasn't spread further than the lymph nodes
Relief from pain
Patience for Matt while he has to do so much for me
Patience for all the caretakers of my children
Peace for my children as there are so many changes in thier schedules right now
We would have peace and continued reliance on God during this difficult time
May 1, 2010
Quick update
This is going to be really quick, typing isn't the easist thing right now. Sarah has done an excellent job of updating so there really ins't much more to say. They did take about 15 lymph nodes out and now we just wait for the pathology report to come in early this week to see how many of them were cancerous. Obviously not the news we wanted to hear, but we will just keep pressing on. Thank you in advance for the continued prayers, we feel such a peace because of them!
And, since Sarah mentioned it I had to add that Julie finished her 5k in what I consider to be an excellent time, so wished I could have been there next to her running as well, but it wasn't meant to be, this time. There will be a next time though and I will be there (w/ my pink "Fight like a girl" shirt on)! Sarah, along with Marilyn, Mary and Julie, has done an excellent job of caring for my kids (no injuries yet that I know of), I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends looking out for me and my needs right now!
Matt and I are celebrating 11 years of marriage today, what a fancy way to celebrate huh? Last year we didn't celebrate either, I had just had a baby 11 days earlier, next year for sure though! God has blessed me with an amazing man that is just perfect for me!
And, since Sarah mentioned it I had to add that Julie finished her 5k in what I consider to be an excellent time, so wished I could have been there next to her running as well, but it wasn't meant to be, this time. There will be a next time though and I will be there (w/ my pink "Fight like a girl" shirt on)! Sarah, along with Marilyn, Mary and Julie, has done an excellent job of caring for my kids (no injuries yet that I know of), I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends looking out for me and my needs right now!
Matt and I are celebrating 11 years of marriage today, what a fancy way to celebrate huh? Last year we didn't celebrate either, I had just had a baby 11 days earlier, next year for sure though! God has blessed me with an amazing man that is just perfect for me!
Specific Prayer Requests-posted by Sarah
First, I want to start by saying how amazing my friend Lynette is! She is still thinking of others above herself...she called Julie last night (yep-last night after coming out of recovery!), and told her she hoped she did well in her 5K run this morning. And she is calling me to check on those 4 beautiful kids of hers too! What a heart she has!
Please pray for her today as the anesthesia has worn off, so she is suffering more with the pain. Please pray for her as they did find cancer in her lymph nodes as well. She will remain in the hospital until tomorrow (they originally had told her 24-48 hours, so I am grateful they are keeping her the 48!) Please pray that she can get the rest she needs- they are coming in often to check her vitals and interrupting her sleep. Please just pray, as God knows her needs and the rest of the family's way more than we do! Thanks for checking in and being a prayer warrior for the Bells during this time!
Please pray for her today as the anesthesia has worn off, so she is suffering more with the pain. Please pray for her as they did find cancer in her lymph nodes as well. She will remain in the hospital until tomorrow (they originally had told her 24-48 hours, so I am grateful they are keeping her the 48!) Please pray that she can get the rest she needs- they are coming in often to check her vitals and interrupting her sleep. Please just pray, as God knows her needs and the rest of the family's way more than we do! Thanks for checking in and being a prayer warrior for the Bells during this time!
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